I know it has been a while since my last posting but I have been a busy bee! It has been wedding, wedding, wedding! I have been making good progress tough with the planning. Since my last posting I have gone to my dress fitting and was pleasantly surprised! It fit even better than it did when I had initially tried it on. Instead of worries about having it possibly be too small I actually had to have alterations to take some parts in! I can't wait to get it back, I just hope in these next couple of months I don't lose too much weight that it would need further taking in. Weird wish, I know LOL I am embarrassed to post the picture below because it is of my arms & I took it after one of my workouts. I do not like my arms but I hope to post a picture like this in 2 months to see how much has changed with my toning technique! My main focus now is to tone them up for my big day. I have always been self-conscious of my arm flab and even though they aren't as flabby as they once were, I still am not comfortable with them. Weights and cardio will get me there, slowly but surely! <-- This is my delicious dinner I had the night before last! I pan fried the cod with a little bit of extra virgin olive oil for about 5 minutes on each side. I cooked it on medium to medium high and had it covered for part of the process. It turned out better than I was expecting and I could eat it every day. I also had some fresh green beans with it. YUM! I have been keeping up with activity and am more careful on what I put in my mouth. Making better choices and taking each day as it comes. I can't wait to see where I will be at on my wedding day! I am down to the wire and have procrastinated enough, it's go time. I know how much you can accomplish in just 2 months if you keep focused and stay determined. 81 days to go!
2 Comments
I found a new favorite! I had oven roasted cauliflower for dinner and it was scrumptious! Also it was very easy to make. I wish I could have used fresh cauliflower but I had a bag of frozen in the freezer & wanted to do something different. First I put the cauliflower in the microwave for 2 minutes and then spread them out on to a baking sheet I had covered with tin foil & sprayed with EVOO spray. I then seasoned them with dry grated parmesan, garlic sea salt, black pepper & cayenne pepper. Last but not least I drizzled a little bit of EVOO over the top and popped them in the oven for 25 minutes on 425, stirring occasionally. Very satisfying and was only 191 calories for the whole bowl. I chose to dip them in a little bit of ranch. YUM! I went for my first walk of the year yesterday! It was 40 degrees out and I just felt like getting out and about. It started to mist and then snow a little bit but I kept on going. I actually jogged part of the way to warm up! I didn't realize how much I needed the fresh air. I can't wait for it to get warmer and warmer. Yesterday I also did a workout in the basement and came upstairs to Michael cooking bacon! I was very good and resisted the urge to have some. He even offered me a piece & I said no. I am proud of myself for resisting. Got to keep that will-power muscle strong! I am in the middle of my 4 day Birthday weekend! I had Friday off of work and have Monday off too. So far I have been relaxing, exercising, wedding planning and anticipating my dress fitting on Monday! I can't wait! Also tomorrow I will be 25, YIKES! :-) Yesterday I went out of town with my Mom to meet with my wedding photographer. It was so nice outside! I actually took my jacket off, didn't have to have the heat blasting in the car and at one point I even had the windows down! On the way to meet with her we stopped to look at my dress that came in. My fitting is in a week but I just couldn't bear to drive by without stopping in to sneak a quick peek! I was dying to see it since I had ordered it in a different color than the one I had originally tried on. I am so in love with it that I am going to have a hard time not wanting to wear it every day. It is even more gorgeous than I had imagined it would be! My meeting with the photographer was awesome. I am getting so excited but it also feels surreal! Things are finally getting to that point where I can start to see it all coming together. The photographer we picked is awesome and I cannot wait for her to photograph our big day! I have Monday off of work and I hear that it's supposed to get up in the 40's. I told Michael that I am going to probably go outside in a tank top & get a nice tan lol - I am so happy that it will be lighter out later now (say that 5 times fast) with the time change. No more gloom and doom, I can already smell the fresh cut grass! HA! I may just go for a walk tomorrow if the weather man is telling the truth ;-) For these next 3 months my brain is going to be in full wedding mode so sorry for all the wedding jabber because I'm sure there will be more of it! I have been doing ok with my weight-loss. I still have yet to get in full kick-butt mode. I need to stop obsessing so much over it and proceed without caution! It is all I think about and some days that is the extent of what I do. My brain gets a real workout but sadly this process doesn't work that way if you want to see results! I do believe it is a mind over matter process but that is just step 1, step 2 is ACTION! My wedding dress has come in and I have made an appointment for alterations in March. I have about 3 weeks to shed a few more pounds until my fitting. I hate not knowing what the future holds, I wish I was psychic! It would be nice to know what size I'm going to be by June 21st because alterations can get expensive! I keep looking at my before pictures for motivation. Back then I would have never thought I would be able to go in to a bridal store and be able to try on dresses. It is just unreal and sometimes I forget the simple things that I could not do when I was 338 pounds. The picture up here on the left was taken when I was just starting to lose weight. I was about 30 pounds down then. One day I just looked in the mirror and realized just how big I had gotten. Each day passes and you never notice, you just live with the way you are until you have an epiphany. There comes a point where you are forced to realize how things are and just how far you have let yourself go. The first few workouts I did I was very angry and I fought through them with that emotion. Facing something that terrifies you head on is hard to do but I had to do it. I could not go on another day living with myself the way I was. I am still overweight but I am much happier. Before I was just existing now I am truly here; living in the now. So much positivity has come my way over the past couple of years that sometimes I fail to realize that my now "bad days" are minute compared to the challenges that I was once faced with. My mood & my outlook on life has drastically changed. I never will let myself go back to the way I was. I never again want to feel that hopelessness that I once felt, the feeling of being so far away that your goal almost seems unattainable. I have now realized that you can accomplish anything when you truly set your mind to it. That goes for all aspects of life. Determination & dedication will take you places you have never been before. Wish me luck and success in the next few weeks with my fitness! I am so excited to try on my dress again when I go for my fitting. I can't wait until I can take it home and stare at it LOL I had a great hair day yesterday. I am still in love with my TopStyler hair curlers! I have not curled my hair any other way since I got it. I am even tempted to go buy another one as a backup in case I wear this one out lol - Can't beat the price! $20 at Dollar General, I couldn't believe it!
I know you have been waiting for a good read and not my typical "I ate this" or "I'm doing good" mumbo jumbo, so here it is... It has been very hard for me to get over being 100 pounds down. I just keep maintaining with the desire to make more progress. This by far has got to be the most frustrating/dreaded part of this process/journey. Months have passed since I originally reached 100 pounds down & I feel I should be somewhere else than where I am at right now. More like I feel I should be at my goal weight. I did not realize it would be this hard for me to maintain/control my weight. It really is a lifestyle change. It is not a fad diet or a dying workout trend. It is something you have to be conscientious of every day. Some days I fail and then others I brush myself off & start over. I have my good days/weeks and I have my bad days/weeks. I keep subconsciously sabotaging my progress & I don't know why. I am frozen and scared to move forward. I don't know if it's me being more comfortable in my own skin or the fear of the unknown but when it comes down to it I know I want this more than anything in the world and I will not give up or stop until I get it. Whether my wussy self likes it or not! I know what I need to do & after talking about this issue, I hope for it to help propel/motivate me to get over it and move on. I realized losing 100 pounds was a HUGE change for me and it is still taking me time to get used to. I know that may sound completely bizarre to some people but for me I have always been heavy & as it goes for anything in life, change can be hard to deal with whether it be positive or negative. I didn't realize how much I dealt with certain things/issues through food & I also was not prepared for the mental part of the journey. My body has changed but my mind has been having a hard time adjusting. It is a battle I struggle with every day & being stubborn does not help! lol I didn't have breakfast this morning and I am not sure what I will have for lunch or dinner. After the cheat day that I had yesterday I don't think I should eat anything for the next week lol. I don't think I should have cheat days anymore until I start seeing progress OR if I do have a cheat day I should have one like I had in the beginning where I would only cheat with 1 meal that day, WITHIN REASON. Lately my cheat days have been a little out of control. T-133 days until my wedding! I need to get a move on. I need to change it up! Obviously what I have been doing is not working for me anymore so I need to get out of my comfort zone and try something different. -M- Well I found my dress! It was the second one I tried on and nowhere near the one I thought I wanted. When I put it on I just knew! I didn't want to take it off. I am so excited! I have to go back to get fitted when it comes in. I can't stop looking at the pictures from yesterday - which is top secret! ;-) But you guys have no idea how bad I want to share them! I am so happy I found a dress because it has been weighing on my mind. Now I can move on to the next thing! I had a cheat day yesterday after dress shopping. We went out to eat and I had soup, salad & bread. On the way home I picked up Pizza Hut for Michael and then had some with him later on. I also didn't work out yesterday but I am going to today. I have been stressing lately and I know I could use a good workout to make me feel better. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday! I am excited to watch the Super Bowl commercials this year because I hear Seinfeld is going a reunion commercial along with Full House! I have been kicking some butt! I brewed and drank a whole pot of green tea earlier and am done with my water jug. I also drank a whole pot of coffee today, is that bad? It's my coffee cup I tell ya! It's my favorite one and it holds a lot.
I don't have any more bananas and I have been skipping breakfast these past couple of days. Last night I did an awesome workout. I didn't set my alarm and by the time I went back upstairs over an hour had passed! I really got swept away in the music that I was listening too. I did my elliptical, some weights, squats, leg lifts & crunches. Not to mention my dirty dancing in between LOL - I also did some neck stretches to help get rid of my chin fat! I feel so good. I am going to do another workout after I post this. I can't believe Saturday is the day I am going to go dress shopping! I seems like I just made the appointment yesterday. I went through one of my back-up hard drives and found some more pictures of me when I was at my biggest. I never thought I'd get excited to see a fat picture of myself but I was. When I started putting together before and after pictures I found it very had to find a bigger picture of myself because usually they were the first to get deleted. Looking at them now motivates me so much. I sent a couple I found to my Mom and she cannot believe that was me! She said she can't even picture me like that anymore & I can't either. I look at them now and all what I see is sadness and insecurity in my eyes along with a broken smile. To me the picture below is like night & Day. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me. Last night I talked with a microphone in front of a crowd of people about my weight-loss. I was 1 of 3 speakers at the event called Total Woman by NORTHSTAR Health System. I was extremely nervous but near the end I loosened up. The first speaker talked about Tai Chi and did a demonstration & the second one talked about nutrition. I really enjoyed myself and am flattered I was asked to talk at such a thing! I still have 50 more pounds I would like to lose before my wedding. Even though its months away I feel like I am running out of time! Not only in weigh-loss but with my planning as well! I have been crazy busy lately with other things and I have been putting off other parts of the wedding. Also everything is so expensive! I can only move as fast as my paychecks come – lol – Slowly but surely I am getting things done 1 step at a time. I know it will all come together & I need to remember not to stress so much because after all it is a happy time! I haven’t worked out yet but the night is still young. I have been eating a banana for breakfast every morning and drinking over 75oz of water a day. I could be doing better with my green tea but it’s hard to do it when I drink so much water lol – I also have 2 black cups of coffee in the morning. 1 on the way to work and then another when I get to the office. I think I’ll do better with my green tea if I make it in big batches and keep it in the fridge. I am not sure if that would affect its…ahhh… purpose…or goodness? I can’t think of the word right now but you guys know what I mean! I hope – lol – My brain has been on vacation today! Any who, I hope you all have a great weekend & stay positive my friends :-) -M- Well my 2-week slim down has begun! I finally made an appointment to go wedding dress shopping February 1st! I know I will not be the size I want to be trying on dresses but at least I will be feeling good. I hope to lose a good amount in these next couple of weeks. I am in the mode and am ready to go about this full force! I have been keeping up with things and working out but now I'm going to pick it up a couple more notches. I really hope I find a keeper. I want Michaels jaw to drop when I walk down the aisle. So not only am I going to work out every day I will drink at least 75 ounces or more of water, think positively, drink my lemon water in the morning & stick to a strict 1,200 calorie lean and green diet. I also need to order some more apple cider vinegar tablets. I have been out of them for quite some time now. I hope to kick so much butt in these next 2 weeks that nothing will be able to stop me until the big day! (Which is just 153 days away!) I went grocery shopping on Friday and got a head of lettuce, baby carrots, yogurt, bananas, lean cuisines, pork loin cutlets, eggs, wheat bread, etc. I made egg salad and that is what I plan on having for the next couple of days for lunch or dinner on wheat bread. I forgot to mention in my last posting, I have recently come across a couple of food disappointments. I tried coffee flavored yogurt. It was disgusting! I like coffee flavored stuff but the yogurt was just nasty. Imagine having a cup of coffee sit out for a month with creamer in it and then take a swig. YUCK! Also I got a bag of that Special K granola and that tastes like cardboard. Not even worth the calories to me. I just got done with my workout for today not too long ago. I kicked butt on the elliptical and then did some weight lifting, squats and stomach crunches. I feel great and I am also over with drinking 2 of my 75 ounce jugs of water. I need to get this tank for when I work out! LOL I was asked to talk at this event (flyer below) about my weight-loss. I am a little nervous to talk in front of people but I am more excited & flattered!
<-- Call me crazy but it did. I can't even begin to describe to you how much a seriously positive attitude can change your life. I know I probably look like one of those looney people who seem to be high on life all the time but to me it's better to deal with your problems in a positive way than in a negative one, no matter what the circumstance. Sometimes it's hard to get yourself in the right mindset but once you are there, everything seems to be OK. I would rather waste my days thinking of reasons and things I should be grateful for vs. thinking of how things could go from bad to worse. Having a positive attitude to me is almost like wearing a bullet proof vest. I am shielded from life's curve balls and have become strong enough to overcome them. It has changed my life; it is what got me from 338 pounds to 238 pounds. If I didn't have that, I would still be feeling helpless, useless and in the pits with 100 pounds on top of it, maybe more. So the next time something negative happens to you, try to flip it in to a positive. What could it hurt? Negativity will only bring you further down. On another note, I have been doing great. I have been working out and watching what I eat. I also have been making sure I drink at least if not more than 1 of my jugs of water a day. I know the whole water drinking thing is a myth to some people but since I have been drinking about 2 jugs of my water a day it has really kept my weight down. I feel great too! I have been getting that "lighter than air" feeling and I LOVE IT. It just motivates me to do better and better. Once I get a taste of the sweet stuff it keeps me coming back for more. I have been watching my calories and have been trying to back on the green tea wagon. I don't know where I fell off with that but I'm hopping back on! Same goes for my lemon water. I wasn't going to dye my hair but I just couldn't stand it anymore. The bottom of my hair was lighter than the top because of an old bleach job I had done. I wanted to stay all natural for my wedding this June but this is still pretty close. I just dyed most of my bottom half to match my roots. I have an appointment to get my hair trimmed on the 22nd. I don't think I'm going to cut too much off, probably just a couple of inches. I still have to go wedding dress shopping but I am waiting to get some monies together. I hope I find a dress close to one in a picture I found online. I also want to lose some more weight before I go shopping. It's hard because I know I am going to be losing more weight before the big day, I just don't know how much so picking out and sizing a dress for me is going to be a bit complicated. I have finally gotten most of my wedding invitations addressed and wax sealed; I just need to ship them out! That was a huge thing I was dreading and it finally is off my chest! Now I can concentrate on other things. I am so overwhelmed but I know it will all work out in the end. Whether I get married in a garbage bag or not, LOL - The good thing is, I have a venue locked down, a photographer set & a DJ figured out. I am getting so excited! My serious look, HAHA - I have been in love with this "TOPSTYLER" hair clamp ceramic hair curler thing that I got! I have seen them on TV and have wanted one forever. I FREAKED when I found one at Dollar General for only $20! I don't think I will ever use a curling iron again.
|
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.
Archives
February 2016
|