Ok I am so stoked; I have to tell you guys all about my clothes shopping experience I had today! I have gotten a few new shirts since I started this but they were ordered out of a catalog because that is what I have been used to doing. When I was 338 it got to the point where I couldn’t just go in to a store and pick something out; I had to order it out of a special plus size magazine because no one carried my sizes. When I started this I was wearing 4XL and they HAD to be 32 inches long. Now I’m to a 2XL and I don’t have to worry about the length. I went to Shopko in town with my Mom today and got 3 new shirts, a crochet cardigan, and 3 new pairs of pants which I was also able to get 2 sizes smaller. I also got new undies and they are so cute! No more granny panties. No more having to give myself wedgies just so they would stay on! Lol but it was so nice looking at CUTE clothes and not have to be in the old lady section because that’s only were they carried my plus sizes. Everything fit great with no frustrations in the dressing room. I’m just in awe that it went so well. Especially in Iron River of all places! Ha! 

I weighed myself this morning and I have lost another pound. Now I am at -61 pounds! I think a pound is pretty good considering it was just the day before yesterday when I was at -60. I am very happy.

Did you guys notice how I haven’t been talking about or planning my “big” end of the month cheat day? Me either lol. I JUST remembered about it yesterday. I cannot believe I forget about it! That used to be a big deal to me but I don’t care anymore. My Mom said we should have an end of the month shopping day instead of me ordering pizzas with Michael. I think that’s a great idea because the high I got off of just trying on clothes today was much greater than the high I would get eating pizza. It is much easier now to say no to that kind of stuff and my cheat days don’t seem so important to me. I used to have my cheat meal planned out to a science a whole week in advance! Lol – I’m not saying that I won’t cheat; I’m sure there will be times where I will cheat but they won’t be planned out to a T like they used to be.

I woke up this morning and had 2 eggs and toast for breakfast. I had a low calorie Subway sub for lunch and I have no idea what I’m having for dinner yet. I went to the grocery store yesterday and the lady at the check out said she almost didn’t recognize me…COOL! I don’t think I’ve seen her working since I started my diet so it was nice to get a reaction like that.

We are having a fire tomorrow night and I plan to cheat with a few drinks. I didn’t cheat with food today and if I do have a few drinks tomorow I will just consider that my cheat day. I don't  have plans to cheat with food this weekend other than that. I may not even drink, depends on who shows up!

I can't wait to see what month 5 of my journey has in store for me. I plan to keep busting my butt with diet and exercise! I am so proud of myself for sticking it out this long.

I woke up this morning around 6am and had 2 eggs and toast for breakfast. I had a salad for lunch and will be having a lean cuisine for dinner. I still have yet to work out. I most likely will dance. I have to do it before Michael gets home from work because I’m too embarrassed to dance with him here. He might leave me, LOL JK. I got mooves!

These past couple of days it has been really sinking in that I’m losing weight; weird right? So far it has been more of something to talk about. One friend asked me if I felt good after losing that much weight and yes it does…and in a way it was hard for me to tell because it was so gradual. I’m sure if I lifted 60 pounds I wouldn’t believe that I had carried that around with me on a daily basis; as if it were nothing. It is very hard for me to let go of the old self image of who I used to be. I am working on it. Things like being able to wear shirts that never fit me before and trying to wear my old shirts but can’t anymore because they are too big make me realize that this is actually happening. It’s hard to get used to being a new person. I’m not complaining but part of me is terrified. I just have to keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the end. I thought I was already grown up but going through this journey really has opened my mind, changed my opinions and my whole outlook on life. I don’t think we ever “grow-up”. I think it is a gradual process that happens over a span of a lifetime. We never stop evolving as individuals. There is too much life out there to say that you have it all figured out already.

I’m starting to look at the number on the scale as just a number. I have become so obsessed with what it will say and what I think I should look like. One day I would feel really good about myself and then step on the scale and get sad. What matters is how I feel and I need to EMBRACE my womanhood and be in LOVE with my EVERY curve!!!! Size doesn’t matter; you can still rock your sexy. Confidence is key. 

<-- There was a time when this shirt was too small for me. I never got the chance to “actually” wear it! Crazy! Now it fits me like a dress, ha!

I weighed in this morning and I can happily say I am back at -60 pounds! Now I feel back to normal lol. I went for a long walk with a friend earlier and it was so warm out! Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer. I think I’ll work out in the basement!

This morning I had a banana and then for lunch I had a lean cuisine. For dinner I had 2 eggs with wheat toast. I am going with wheat bread vs. multi grain because I was told by DR.OZ that multigrain bread may seem good for you but in the end it is way more processed.

I would write more but I want to post this before my internet acts crazy. It usually screws me over around 9pm.

Until tomorrow...

If you re-wind the tapes you will see me at the McDonald’s drive through twice this past weekend. I am ashamed!!!! Now that I have the guts to confess… here it is: On Thursday night I got a bad craving for McDonald’s and I didn’t work out that day either. I figured if I cheated on Thursday night I would have Friday be normal and workout. I didn’t cheat with food on Friday but I also didn’t work out. The second time I had McDonald’s it was after Michael picked me up from the wedding on Saturday. I got a double cheeseburger and a small fry. I went by myself on Thursday night and it took a lot of talking myself into it. Just by that alone I should have known better. I think I sat in the garage for about 15 minutes before I left. After being extremely guilty these past couple days it has set me back. I didn’t work out Sunday or yesterday either. Today I am determined to get back on track. 

I weighed myself this morning and I have gained a pound. As of right now I’m 59 pounds down and not 60. I kicked butt today and danced my tail off. I just get lost in the beat and don’t care how dumb I look. Who knows; maybe one day I’ll be a back up dancer with all this practice I’ve been getting LOL. I danced for a straight half hour.

I have been eating normal besides cheating with fast food and the food they had at the wedding on Saturday. (I had a spoonful of mashed potatoes with gravy, a slice of pork, garlic toast and a little bit of spaghetti.) Today I got back on track with drinking water. Since last Wednesday I haven’t been drinking nearly enough and I have only been having 1 to 2 cups of green tea. Right now I’m on my 3rd cup for the day. I don’t care how bad I crave McDonald’s again I will not resort to going and getting it. I had a weak moment and it’s so bad to me because it goes against everything I was going for with this diet. It’s not about eating the burger or French fries but more about my will power to stay away and not rely on it every day or whenever I can scrape change together. Darn you $1 menu!!! I’m going to talk to Michael about it and tell him no matter how bad I want it to talk me out of it because doing that really set me back. My mood has changed since then and instead of making myself feel better by exercising I was replacing it with fast food like I always used to. At least I’m smart enough to crush it now before I’m too late and have to post a blog about how I am slowly gaining all my weight back. Yah I only gained 1 pound but if I didn’t eat fast food would I have lost a pound instead? I don’t want to be put in this spot again!!!

This morning I had a banana when I got up and then had a lean cuisine for lunch. I am still debating on what I want to have for dinner. I never knew I could have such a love/hate relationship with food. One day I’m not eating enough then the next I’m over-indulging. I need to quit telling myself its ok just because I have lost 60 pounds. I AM NOT there yet. If I look at it this way I still have 106 pounds to lose before I get to my goal weight of 170 and about 40 more pounds to lose before I will have lost my first 100. I am not looking forward to doing what I just did all over again. I don’t even want to think about it. I just need to KEEP ON KEEPING ON. NO REGRETS, NO LOOKING BACK. Sometimes it’s hard though. Some days I feel like I can almost reach the top but today is one of those days when I really realize how far yet I still need to go.

I want to get some apple-cider vinegar. I have been hearing a lot about it helping with losing weight and boosting your metabolism. There is a recipe online that I found where you mix 2 tablespoons of apple-cider vinegar with ¼ tsp baking soda in 1 cup warm water. This one girl online swears by it and said she drinks it before each meal and before bed. I HATE vinegar but I think I could put up with it for this reason. It is also supposed to be really good for your digestive system and stuff. My Mom said they also make pills but I like the idea of having to mix it with 1 cup warm water because they say that’s good to drink water before meals too. I could kill 2 birds with one stone!

I have not been weighing myself. The last time I weighed in I was 60 pounds down. This Friday I will weigh in for this week.

Lately I have been feeling “all dressed up and no where to go”. I have been feeling lonely. I am finding boredom set in and I need to get out and do something. I plan to go for a walk today but have a prior obligation at 3pm so I will probably go for a walk this afternoon. “GET A JOB!” (Right?) I’m not THAT bored yet lol but I have been thinking about picking something up part time.

I am craving a different kind of change. Everything I have built up so far has been great but I feel like I am stuck. It’s hard to explain. Hopefully when I get 12 inches cut off my hair it will do the trick! This Saturday is the big day where I get rid of the past 4 years of hair. I can’t wait to feel the weight lift off my head and get a new style going.

I know I owe you guys a good post. Lately they have been pretty short and sweet but I have not been in a "typing" mood. This one will be cut short too. I guess in a way it's a good thing because I have been keeping busy. Yesterday I had a friends wedding to photograph and I got home around midnight. I had fun! I cheated and ate the food they had there and had some drinks and got to catch up with a few old friends. All in all it was a good day and I got some great pictures!

Today I am busy again. I am ripping carpet out of one of our rooms upstairs so I can re-finish the nice hardwood floors underneath. I don't have much to say. I have been keeping active and staying positive.

The left picture is of me 2 months ago. It this isn't enough motivation for me; I don't know what is!

I weighed myself again this morning and I can proudly say I have officially lost 60 pounds!!!! As much as I’d like to think I can; I can NEVER predict one week from the next. I can never predict one DAY from the next!!! I am super happy. Only 40 more pounds to go until I will have lost 100!

I have had a pretty busy day. I finally got to eat my breakfast around 1pm and I had eggs and toast. The crazy part is I got ANOTHER 2 yolks in 1 egg!!! The eggs must have been from the same chicken lol. Then around 5 I went to Subway and got a sub for dinner/lunch.

I need to get new underwear bad. The only way I can keep them on anymore is by giving myself a wedgie lol. So far I have dropped 2 shirt sizes (soon to be 3) and I know I have at least dropped 2 underwear sizes. I can still wear my old shirts, they will just be baggy. Most of my pants are stretchy so they still fit ok but most are stretched out too big so I have to roll them on the waist to stay up.

I still have yet to work out today. It was raining all day and its dark out now so I will probably work out in the basement tonight.

I weighed in this morning. Curiosity got the best of me! Since last Friday I have lost 3 pounds! I am now at 280. I am ONLY 2 pounds away from losing 60!!!!!!! That is like a little kid. Talk about finally having a monkey jump off my back ha-ha. I was not expecting to see 280 on scale since last Friday where I had only lost 2 pounds for the 2 prior weeks and also because of this past weekend when I made some fatty food choices. I have been staying active and am feeling great!

I had 2 eggs and my 45 calorie multigrain toast after I woke up this morning. I still have been using a sliver of my light I can’t believe it’s not butter when I fry my eggs. I cracked the second egg and it was a double yolker! I have always taken that as a sign of good luck! It has been a long time since I’ve had an egg like that. Michael went to work around 3pm and I made him a pepperoni Roma pizza before he left and I had a piece with him (100 calories). Soon I will be having a late lunch and will have dinner around 8 since I am staying up until Michael gets home at 3am. My Mom went to the farmers market today and picked me up a spaghetti squash and 3 ears of corn. I am going to make the squash for lunch and have corn on the cob with boiled fish for dinner.

The night before last I did some weight lifting in the basement and I am still sore 2 days later. The first picture on this post is of Chewie on the weight bench that night lol – My macho man! After lunch I am going to walk to my Moms and back for today’s exercise.

I am so happy I started this process. Almost 60 pounds down and counting; I never thought it was possible. There was a time where I seriously thought I looked better the way I was than if I were to lose weight. I am so glad that crazy person has finally left the coo coos nest!!!! LOL

I just looked up "2 yolks in one egg" on google and one of its superstitious meanings is that there is a marriage coming soon. Weirdly enough I’m photographing my friends wedding this Saturday! Spooky!