My wedding dress has come in and I have made an appointment for alterations in March. I have about 3 weeks to shed a few more pounds until my fitting.

I hate not knowing what the future holds, I wish I was psychic! It would be nice to know what size I'm going to be by June 21st because alterations can get expensive! I keep looking at my before pictures for motivation. Back then I would have never thought I would be able to go in to a bridal store and be able to try on dresses. It is just unreal and sometimes I forget the simple things that I could not do when I was 338 pounds.

The picture up here on the left was taken when I was just starting to lose weight. I was about 30 pounds down then. One day I just looked in the mirror and realized just how big I had gotten. Each day passes and you never notice, you just live with the way you are until you have an epiphany. There comes a point where you are forced to realize how things are and just how far you have let yourself go.

The first few workouts I did I was very angry and I fought through them with that emotion. Facing something that terrifies you head on is hard to do but I had to do it. I could not go on another day living with myself the way I was. I am still overweight but I am much happier.  Before I was just existing now I am truly here; living in the now. So much positivity has come my way over the past couple of years that sometimes I fail to realize that my now "bad days" are minute compared to the challenges that I was once faced with. My mood & my outlook on life has drastically changed. I never will let myself go back to the way I was. I never again want to feel that hopelessness that I once felt, the feeling of being so far away that your goal almost seems unattainable. I have now realized that you can accomplish anything when you truly set your mind to it. That goes for all aspects of life. Determination & dedication will take you places you have never been before.

Wish me luck and success in the next few weeks with my fitness! I am so excited to try on my dress again when I go for my fitting. I can't wait until I can take it home and stare at it LOL

I had a great hair day yesterday. I am still in love with my TopStyler hair curlers! I have not curled my hair any other way since I got it. I am even tempted to go buy another one as a backup in case I wear this one out lol - Can't beat the price! $20 at Dollar General, I couldn't believe it!

I know you have been waiting for a good read and not my typical "I ate this" or "I'm doing good" mumbo jumbo, so here it is...

It has been very hard for me to get over being 100 pounds down. I just keep maintaining with the desire to make more progress. This by far has got to be the most frustrating/dreaded part of this process/journey. Months have passed since I originally reached 100 pounds down & I feel I should be somewhere else than where I am at right now. More like I feel I should be at my goal weight. I did not realize it would be this hard for me to maintain/control my weight. It really is a lifestyle change. It is not a fad diet or a dying workout trend. It is something you have to be conscientious of every day. Some days I fail and then others I brush myself off & start over. I have my good days/weeks and I have my bad days/weeks. I keep subconsciously sabotaging my progress & I don't know why. I am frozen and scared to move forward. I don't know if it's me being more comfortable in my own skin or the fear of the unknown but when it comes down to it I know I want this more than anything in the world and I will not give up or stop until I get it. Whether my wussy self likes it or not! I know what I need to do & after talking about this issue, I hope for it to help propel/motivate me to get over it and move on. I realized losing 100 pounds was a HUGE change for me and it is still taking me time to get used to. I know that may sound completely bizarre to some people but for me I have always been heavy & as it goes for anything in life, change can be hard to deal with whether it be positive or negative. I didn't realize how much I dealt with certain things/issues through food & I also was not prepared for the mental part of the journey. My body has changed but my mind has been having a hard time adjusting. It is a battle I struggle with every day & being stubborn does not help! lol

I didn't have breakfast this morning and I am not sure what I will have for lunch or dinner. After the cheat day that I had yesterday I don't think I should eat anything for the next week lol. I don't think I should have cheat days anymore until I start seeing progress OR if I do have a cheat day I should have one like I had in the beginning where I would only cheat with 1 meal that day, WITHIN REASON. Lately my cheat days have been a little out of control.

T-133 days until my wedding! I need to get a move on. I need to change it up! Obviously what I have been doing is not working for me anymore so I need to get out of my comfort zone and try something different.

-M- 

Well I found my dress! It was the second one I tried on and nowhere near the one I thought I wanted. When I put it on I just knew! I didn't want to take it off. I am so excited! I have to go back to get fitted when it comes in. I can't stop looking at the pictures from yesterday - which is top secret! ;-) But you guys have no idea how bad I want to share them! I am so happy I found a dress because it has been weighing on my mind. Now I can move on to the next thing!

I had a cheat day yesterday after dress shopping. We went out to eat and I had soup, salad & bread. On the way home I picked up Pizza Hut for Michael and then had some with him later on. I also didn't work out yesterday but I am going to today. I have been stressing lately and I know I could use a good workout to make me feel better. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday! I am excited to watch the Super Bowl commercials this year because I hear Seinfeld is going a reunion commercial along with Full House!