Entry 361: BElieve in YOUrself

I know you have been waiting for a good read and not my typical "I ate this" or "I'm doing good" mumbo jumbo, so here it is...

It has been very hard for me to get over being 100 pounds down. I just keep maintaining with the desire to make more progress. This by far has got to be the most frustrating/dreaded part of this process/journey. Months have passed since I originally reached 100 pounds down & I feel I should be somewhere else than where I am at right now. More like I feel I should be at my goal weight. I did not realize it would be this hard for me to maintain/control my weight. It really is a lifestyle change. It is not a fad diet or a dying workout trend. It is something you have to be conscientious of every day. Some days I fail and then others I brush myself off & start over. I have my good days/weeks and I have my bad days/weeks. I keep subconsciously sabotaging my progress & I don't know why. I am frozen and scared to move forward. I don't know if it's me being more comfortable in my own skin or the fear of the unknown but when it comes down to it I know I want this more than anything in the world and I will not give up or stop until I get it. Whether my wussy self likes it or not! I know what I need to do & after talking about this issue, I hope for it to help propel/motivate me to get over it and move on. I realized losing 100 pounds was a HUGE change for me and it is still taking me time to get used to. I know that may sound completely bizarre to some people but for me I have always been heavy & as it goes for anything in life, change can be hard to deal with whether it be positive or negative. I didn't realize how much I dealt with certain things/issues through food & I also was not prepared for the mental part of the journey. My body has changed but my mind has been having a hard time adjusting. It is a battle I struggle with every day & being stubborn does not help! lol

I didn't have breakfast this morning and I am not sure what I will have for lunch or dinner. After the cheat day that I had yesterday I don't think I should eat anything for the next week lol. I don't think I should have cheat days anymore until I start seeing progress OR if I do have a cheat day I should have one like I had in the beginning where I would only cheat with 1 meal that day, WITHIN REASON. Lately my cheat days have been a little out of control.

T-133 days until my wedding! I need to get a move on. I need to change it up! Obviously what I have been doing is not working for me anymore so I need to get out of my comfort zone and try something different.

-M- 

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