Entry 387: #Cloud Nine
I have been obsessed with the clouds this past year. They have just been breathtaking! I am always pulling over and trying to get a picture with my phone. Yesterday was one of those days that I just had to take a picture!
Just to forewarn you; this posting is not going to be weight loss related. Some days I just need to turn that off because I drive myself insane trying to figure out new ways to say how I'm doing regarding my progress. I am sure I have repeated myself with postings but I can't remember everything I have wrote about over the past couple of years. I know it is the theme of my blog but today I'm just going to talk about stuff!
This past weekend was great. I did something every day! I had today off and I just got back home from visiting an old friend. It was so nice to catch up! Saturday and Sunday I went out of town with my Mom, which is always fun. I am so excited because yesterday I finally upgraded cameras and bought myself a new one! For anyone that knows me, knows this is a big deal for me! The timing was perfect and I am so excited over the good deal I got. I knew there was a reason I was holding off so long with making a purchase! (Over a year to be exact) & I ended up saving $200.00! I can't wait to start doing photo-shoots again (which I will be soon) - I feel more inspired and confident than ever! Below is the first picture I took with my new camera. I just love it - I love my old camera too but I am going to take it in to get professionally cleaned & tuned up to see what the issue is exactly that I have been having. I have tried to fix it myself but nothing I did seemed to work without the same issue coming back. Maybe it's just old age! I've had it for about 10 years. Once I get my older one cleaned up I will have 2. I have always wanted to have a backup! I just know it will come in real handy and will give me the peace of mind that I need to shoot without the fear of not having a plan B; especially for weddings. There is no worse feeling than to have your camera unexpectedly malfunction on someone's wedding day when you are the one in charge of photographing it! Trust me; I know how that feels first hand. My first camera gave me a great run but now it is time to explore the possibilities of the future! My Mom said I act as if my right arm had been missing all this time and I just got it back! Photography is not just a hobby for me, it is a big part of my life and maybe that is what I have been missing all this time. I feel complete again!
Entry 386: Not So Eggcellent
I'm taking this as a sign. I thought I'd splurge a bit and have a little hash browns with my eggs for breakfast this morning <-- THEN this happened! It turns out Michael didn't close the pour side of the pepper shaker when he used it last so when I went to sprinkle a little on my eggs it came out full speed ahead! It all happened so fast and in the end the meal was unsalvageable for me to eat it. I like pepper but not this much! It was almost comical. I fired up some more eggs and had them with just wheat toast!
It is 8:00PM right now and such a gorgeous fall night outside. I would love to go for a walk but not by myself! I have needed some good old fresh air. I always feel so great after a brisk walk outdoors. It has been a while & I could use the change up from my recumbent/elliptical bike routine. Tomorrow I have plans to go for one & I am actually looking forward to it!
Entry 385: #Jinxed
I already got my workout in for today and I just might do another one later. Ah who am I kidding? I probably won't - But I do know I'm going to power clean the house after I post this. I have plans to crank up the tunes and get down to business. I know I can work up a sweat when I get into scrubbing every nook and cranny. Dancing is so much more fun when you have a vacuum and a broom; said no woman ever.
I had bought a box of 4 frozen breakfast burritos at the store the other day and I thought I would really like them (and they were only 320 calories). I was wrong. SO, so wrong! I can't even begin to tell you how gross they were! I was surprised because I paid full price for them (which I never do) and they were not on the cheap side. Oh well, on to something else! At least I know for next time.
Well I jinxed the weather with my last posting and woke up this morning to it snowing outside! It's not right for it to be snowing when we still have green grass on the ground. It has not been fun watching the colors slowly fade away this fall. Pretty soon it will all be black and white! I told Michael if we were rich I would renovate our backyard in to a bio dome and have an escape all summer long. Heck Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin survived in one for an entire year! LOL
sNOw FREAKIN' WAY!
Entry 384: #Mind, #Body & #Soul
Here we go again! Today I went grocery shopping and bought myself lean cuisines/ healthy choice meals and crackers/ pretzels for snacks. I am starting to get back on track in the food area. I am only eating lean cuisines to get going with better eating habits. I like them because they teach me portion control as well as being lower in calorie than the other choices I would be making at this point. Once I train my brain and stomach to be satisfied after a lean cuisine I will then start prepare my own food. I will then be able to trust myself enough to ration serving sizes and calorie count. It's a baby step but at least it's a step in the right direction! It worked well for me in the past so here goes nothing!
We still have some green here in the upper peninsula of Michigan. I hope we don't get snow as early as we did last year. I remember last year there was snow on the ground at our Halloween party! It can hold off a little longer because we are finally able to get our roof re-done and I am hoping we can do it before the snow hits. I am not a cold weather chick AT ALL! I always ask myself why I still live somewhere where the winters can be horrendous. I just can't seem to break the force field that holds me here LOL - Someday I will get away!
I have been keeping up with my workout routine and from here on out I will not settle for anything less than RESULTS! Success is a combination of many things. I have to get the potion in motion and set the ingredients just right. I always like to think of my body as a car. You wouldn't go and put sugar in your gas tank now would you? LOL!
Like I have said many times; I know what needs to be done I just need to do it to it! I know I will feel a million times better. I have been so stressed out lately and I have finally put my finger on it. I have not been happy with ME. My discouragement has taken over and is affecting my day to day life. It has put a damper on many things I used to enjoy and UN-motivates me to motivate myself. I need to quiet my inner critic and move forward confidently and positively.
It is time for things to change.
MIND, BODY & SOUL!
Entry 383: #Official Business
I am excited to say that I am now www.marilynmanfrom.com - You can still reach my site with the old address as well. You may also notice a few minor changes to the site but after 2 1/2 years an update was needed!
I have been using my elliptical/recumbent bike daily. I have been doing 20 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes on the recumbent. I love it because I can change the workout level each time I use it so I don't do the same thing over and over but I know I am going to need to spice it up soon.
I have been just maintaining my current weight. I am still having issues in the food area! It is so hard to just stop all these bad habits that I have picked back up. I need to be more aware to what I am putting in my body. Lately I seem to say one thing and then do another. I have been waiting for that spark that I had in the beginning. Something just snapped for me then and I was unstoppable. No pizza, fast food or spec of sugar could have stood in my way! I was fed up and am coming close to that feeling again. Enough is enough. Things are getting to Cray-Cray!
So in saying that; I have been working on building myself back up. I know I can do this. I will reach my goal. New web address, fresh start! LOL - Whatever works, right?
Entry 382: #Lies I Tell Myself
I have been in a baking mood lately. Today I made pumpkin cookies. They are not for me but I can't say I did not try one...or two! I don't like frosting on my cookie so I ate a non-frosted one. I also made Michael brownies. We used to be so good and not keeping stuff like that around but when I get in one of my Suzy homemaker modes I just can't stop. This lifestyle is not going to last for long. I have been getting my crap together these past few days. I have been good and have been making sure to work out every day and am now going to seriously watch my calories. I have gotten too careless with that. It is so easy to skip a workout and has been very hard for me to get down a routine that works with my schedule. Once I give away the cookies and Michael gets rid of the brownies there will be no more of that junk! I am not big on sweets so it is not hard for me to resist; but from here on out, absolutely no more junk. I can't even say that you can have what you want only if you eat in moderation. That just ends up being a lie I tell myself to make it ok. Deep down I know I will go ape on whatever junk food is lying around. It's just the thing I tell myself when I want to cheat without remorse.
It has been very hard for me to admit that I have been gaining weight back. It feels better to ignore it and hope it goes away but realistically that isn't going to happen. I can no longer comfort myself with a lie. I am not comfortable in my own skin lately and that is a big indicator to me that I need to get with the program. My problem will not go away and is something I have to deal with head on. I would like to lose 80 more pounds for myself. I know how awesome it would make me feel and less self-conscious. I am also so upset that I did not get to my goal weight for my wedding day but instead I gained weight and crossed my fingers that my dress would fit. I tend to eat under pressure and go for what's easy without thinking about the after math. It seems I got to a certain point with this process and then decided to say screw it! I know it's a lifestyle change and I know I have to re-evaluate my situation. Certain things have to change and I can't focus on the end result. I have to be in the moment and take care of business today, in the now. I need to quit looking back and replaying all the would-a, could-a, should-a's. It doesn't matter how many times it takes to get going: what matters is that you never give up.
The past is history & tomorrow is a mystery!
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.