I went for a nice walk with my friend earlier. She has been back in town and it has been really nice seeing her! She was my first best friend EVER (before 1st grade) and no matter how much time passes our friendship will never change.
I had eggs and toast for breakfast and was busy cleaning and forgot to eat lunch again. I had a lean cuisine for dinner and got a McDonalds caesar salad with grilled chicken around 9pm. I don’t like to eat that late but Michael has been working 2 nights a week until 3am and like I said I wasn’t going to do; I have been waiting up for him. The rest of the week he works days. My schedule has been all over the place.
I woke up and had 2 eggs and toast. I missed lunch and had a lean cuisine for dinner. I don’t even know how many cups of green tea I had today. I lost track after 5 lol. I still have yet to work out but have plans to go down in the basement. I am going to do some weights, crunches and leg lifts tonight and then the exercise bike. It has been a long time since I have done weights and stuff; I’m starting to feel like a weenie.
I haven’t weighed myself since last Friday. I’m waiting until this Friday to weigh in for the week. I have also decided that starting next week my new cheat day for every week is going to be on Sunday instead of Friday. If I can stick with only weighing in once a week it will be on Sunday too. Thought I’d spice things up a bit.
I am starting to feel different; a new kind of different. It is almost like I am at a new stage in my weight-loss. I see things differently; more clear and the little things that I thought mattered actually don’t. I have come to the conclusion that I have a hard time with letting things go. I also have always been too hard on myself. Once someone would lift me up; I would beat myself out of accepting a compliment.
I have finally gotten over my severe insecurity towards my upper arms. It may be weird but my arms are the reason why I would always wear layers or sweaters on 80 degree days. I have always been more insecure about my arms than my belly. I have no idea why. I also went through a scarf phase. I had to always be wearing a scarf because I hated my neck/double chin. I used to make my hair huge with hair spray when it was shorter just because I thought if I was overweight I didn’t want to have a little head so I had to proportion my hair to fit my body size, LOL -Like what! The things I didn’t do because of those insecurities. The things I missed out on!!!! Where was I then; when I needed me the most?
In the end; I have realized that you will not enjoy life to its fullest if you are not your own biggest fan first.
Picture below is evidence of my hair spray and scarf days lol but if you knew me then you will remember these awkward stages!
I have been a bad girl this weekend.
Friday (my actual cheat day): I didn’t work out. I had steak on the grill with some sautéed veggies. I almost don’t want to call it a cheat food because it wasn’t cooked in an un-healthy way and the steak was very thin.
Saturday: I didn’t work out. I went to the fair/demo derby. I cheated with some alcoholic drinks and had a hot dog with nachos. Later that night I went to McDonalds with Michael and ordered; 2 double cheese burgers, a large fry and a regular sized spicy chicken McBites. I ate one of the burgers, a few fries and a couple chicken bites. I could not eat anymore I got so full. I ended up giving the dogs the other burger and Michael ate the rest of the fries and chicken bites.
Sunday: I went for a 2 ½ mile walk with a friend. Earlier I went to lunch with my Mom and cheated with a philly steak sandwich with french fries.
Tomorrow is a brand new day and I will KICK BUTT this week! I need to re-vamp my care towards eating un-healthy foods. This weekend just was horrible for eating healthy! I need to make a new cheat day because having it on a Friday latley seems to turn it from a cheat day into a cheat weekend. I will get back on track tomorrow. Eat lean and green; eat lean and green! I am happy that I walked today.
I need to ask myself these questions the next time the fair is in town lol:
Well I weighed in this morning and I only have lost 2 pounds for the past 2 weeks. I am happy I lost 2 pounds but wish I could go back to losing 5 pounds a week! Right now after losing over 50 pounds is when my progress is getting slower and slower. It is much harder to drop the weight than it was in the beginning. As of today I am 55 pounds down and weigh 283. It’s a far cry from my 338! I’m getting there and I still feel awesome even after only losing 2 pounds in the past 2 weeks. I thought I would have lost more just by how I have been feeling but I can’t let only losing 2 pounds take that away! I just ended my monthly visit yesterday so I’m thinking that might still have something to do with it? In the end it doesn’t really matter as long as I keep losing and staying positive!
Today is my cheat day. I got a little steak for today that I am going to cook on the grill and I am going to fry up some green pepper, onion and mushrooms to go with it. Michael is having burgers. I don’t plan to work out today but you never know. Lately I have just been getting up and going with no hesitation. I’m pretty pre-programmed now. I have waited so long for it to come to this! Where I just do it and don’t sit and try to talk myself out of it lol. It’s part of me now. I AM AN ACTIVE PERSON!!! Woo!
I’m not sure if I’m going to the fair this weekend anymore or the demo. I was going to cash in cans to go with Michael but we had to cash those in yesterday to go to the grocery store. I have been seriously thinking about getting a job. Michael has been supporting me for the past couple months now. My photography business is pretty slow and things have been pretty tight. I still hope to go to the fair and demo this weekend though! You never know! I may go after you don’t have to pay to get in or go see if my Mom has any cans she wants to get rid of lol.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I have no idea what the scale will say. I have exercised every day this week so we will see! The last time I weighed myself was 2 weeks ago and I was 285. Today was pretty boring so I don’t have much to say. I had cereal for breakfast and I had left overs from yesterday for lunch and dinner. I went for a walk today for my exercise.
<-- I tried making creamed cabbage yesterday for the first time. I think it looks good but it was BLAH. It was so bland but in my defense I had very little to work with! I ended up throwing it out. I don’t think my cream mixture came out right.
Yesterday I walked to my Moms and then later on came home and danced. I still have yet to work out today. For breakfast I had 2 eggs and my multigrain toast and for lunch I made some spaghetti. I had a jar of traditional Ragu in the cupboard and I boiled up some regular noodles and added some extra spices to the sauce with a wedge of my laughing cow light cream cheese. It came out really good! I also toasted a couple slices of my multigrain bread and spread it with my light I can’t believe it’s not butter and sprinkled some garlic powder and parmesan cheese on them in the oven. I know it’s not true diet food but with portion control each serving including my bread is about 400 calories. Isn’t that what lean cuisines are? Regular food just portioned out properly? I don’t have much in my cupboards right now so I got to work with what I have. For dinner I will probably have some more spaghetti. Next time I go shopping I will have to get some whole grain noodles and see if there is a healthier sauce option because I think I will do this more often. It’s cheaper and one small batch will last me a while!
I could not be happier with how life has been treating me lately. It may be the new outlook I have on things but I love it. I like who I am and I am doing what I thought was impossible. I am starting to not take things so literally and am just going with the flow. No regrets. I am living life the way I want to live it and am going to let my heart lead the way. I think I have finally found myself.
<-- This is exactly how I feel!
I walked to my Moms yesterday, danced AND did sit-ups/leg lifts. I woke up and had a bowl of wheaties for breakfast with skim milk. I will probably have lean cuisine for lunch and I have some cabbage I have to cook up later on. I am not sure what I’m going to do today for exercise.
I don’t have much to say today. This is my 3rd attempt at trying to write today’s post and I still have nothing. Brain farts I guess!
I'm getting super excited to go to the fair this weekend. I need to see people! These past few years I feel I have been so hibernated. I have no idea when I became that "shy" girl. I have always been a crazy; outgoing chatty Kathy. It's my nature and it feels good to be truely smiling again. No one can take away my sparkle now. I have been bitter for too long.
So the fair is in town this weekend… This will be a true test of my will power!!!!! Every year I looked forward to getting my fair food fix. Corn dogs, hot dogs, nachos, elephant ears, lemonade, pizza, cheesy fries; the works… My mouth is drooling just thinking about it but I know it’s not worth it. I will go and just get my fix by taking a sniff of the deep fried air LOL. There is also a demo derby which I plan on going to. I will probably have a few drinks there but I am hoping no where near as much as I had for the street dance a couple weeks ago. Depends on my mood I guess. Michael said he might go so I’m super excited! I can never get him to go out anywhere. We are such homebodies but I had a really good time with him at the street dance. I am leaving a buffer zone just in case. We will see…
Yesterday I got away pretty easy with my post ha-ha. There are just some days where I have nothing to say or if I do it’s the same things I have already said before. I danced for my workout and I cheated and had a candy bar. I just could not believe the craving I had for chocolate! I am normally not into sweets but there is once in a while where I just have to have it. I got a regular sized 3 musketeers bar. Lately I have been pretty blah; Mother Nature is in town so I haven’t been my motivated uppity self these past few days.
Michaels work schedule is all choppy this week. There are a couple days where he works nights and then the rest are different hours of the day. It sucks but what are you going to do. I have decided the days where he works nights I am not going to wait up for him like I used to. I would like to but I just got back on a normal sleeping schedule and I feel it is necessary to keep it going with this diet.
Pretty soon here I have to go grocery shopping again. My fridge is getting pretty bare. I am now on my back up lean cuisines. When I say backup I mean the gross ones I never want to eat ha-ha! I got up around 9am today and had my green tea right away. In a little bit I am going to go make myself some eggs and toast for breakfast. Some day this week I need to go over to my Moms and pick blackberries. She has a good batch this year but there are not many. There should be enough for me to snack on for a few days. Her raspberries this year were sad! They was very few compared the plethora she usually gets and they tasted like water. I didn’t even bother picking.
I have not been doing my lemon water for quite some time now. I hate it and got sick of waiting for them to go on sale. Maybe one of these days I’ll get back to squeezing a half of a lemon into my morning green tea. Little did I know when I started this I would have to get into a new routine/lifestyle change but it would still be chaotic! Lol- Things are still constantly changing. But I am not complaining. I personally have to have some variety otherwise I get bored with doing the same thing over and over! The 2 key things that I still stick with till this day is drinking over 75 oz of water a day and as many cups of green tea as I can. Some days I only have 2 cups of green tea and other I can have up to 6 or 7!
I calculated my BMI the other day and it has gone down 8.3 points!
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.