Entry 99: A different outlook.

<-- I wish I would have found this picture to go with Fridays post!

I wanted to write more in yesterdays post but my internet was being dumb! It kept kicking me off and I gave up after it wouldn’t let me add an entry title.  

I can’t even describe to you on how I feel. When I was 338 I never thought that being that obese had affected me, my life or my mood. Well I was WRONG. I haven’t lost 100 pounds yet but in a way it feels like it! Since I have started losing weight my mood has changed dramatically. I am way more positive and happy. I was talking to Michael the other day and he said I am more “goofy” and not so insecure/shy. I am coming back baby!

In the past I would nag on Michael about our relationship and how he should be more romantic, etc...But I have now figured out I was confusing my unhappiness with myself with our relationship. I figured it was his job to make me happy and if I wasn’t happy that he had to be doing something wrong. That is how oblivious I was to the fact of my obesity. Gosh... I am so grateful for him! He really has stuck by me through the THICK and the soon to be THIN! Most guys would not have put up with some of the stuff that I made him put up with!!!! Now I’m recognizing my faults and I have apologized. We were always a strong team but now we have become stronger than ever.

I am gaining my confidence back little by little. My Mom said I stand straighter instead of all hunched over trying to hide everything. I also can’t believe how much more mobility I have and how much more of a desire I have to want to get out and do things. Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode if I just sit on the couch! Before there would literally be days where Michael would go to work and I would be sitting on the couch and then when he came back home I would still be sitting on the couch. I feel for my past self when I look back; how sad. It’s only going to get better and better from here on out!

Today I woke up at 6am and had breakfast. I then cleaned the whole house and exercised. I had half of an avocado with some tortilla chips for a snack before lunch. For lunch I had a salad and then some Triscuits. I still have yet to decide what I want to do for dinner.

I am staying busy and loving life. I can’t wait to see what the future holds!

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