Entry 94: Little by little...
Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I’m nervous! I get like this before every Friday. I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst lol. I just don’t want to get my hopes up. I have worked out every day this week and I plan to work-out tomorrow too. No freebies for me this week so I hope I at least lost 3 pounds!
I got up and had a banana and my green tea. I got ready and then power walked the back way to my Moms on an old railroad trail. I walked home and had lunch. I had the rest of my veggies I cooked up yesterday and 2 ears of corn. I spray my corn with my 0 calorie spray and then lightly salt and pepper. I could barely finish; I got so full. I am not sure what I am going to do for dinner yet.
I am having another one of those “feeling stuck” moments. I can’t wait to not be chubby anymore. I can’t wait to get rid of this belly. Little by little it is shrinking but I wish it’d shrink faster! I keep seeing the old me. I can’t let go of that mind set. Michael says I look no where near what I used to but I feel like I do. I hope I don’t become so self conscious when I get to my goal weight that I’ll think I’m still enormous. Right now I still feel enormous. I have some days where I feel fatter than I did when I was 338. It’ll take some work for me to let go of seeing myself in that way.
I need to remember this: Quit looking back and always look ahead. Remember that this process will be worth it. Even though I may not feel it now; I just have to keep on, keeping on. Progress or no progress I am on the road to being a better, healthier me. I have to realize it takes time and I can’t expect to wake up tomorrow at my goal weight. I have to let my body take its course. (I just wish it wasn’t so gradual! Maybe I’d notice changes better if I didn’t have to see myself everyday, lol.)
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My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.