Entry 84: Don't get lost along the way...

I forgot to mention in yesterdays post that I stopped weighing myself and am going to go back to just weighing in on Fridays. I have been squirming these past couple of days not knowing but I feel it is for the best! I realized I rather have just 1 down day if I were to not have lost anything than to have a roller coaster of a week by checking every day. I no longer will have expectations; just high hopes! I can’t wait until I can officially say I have lost 50 pounds!!

I never did get to working out last night. That made my 3rd day in a row for not exercising. I finally broke the chain and worked out today in the basement. I did 10 minutes on the treadmill and then did another 10 minutes on the exercise bike. It was a 20 minute work out but it was better than nothing! I can tell I was a little rusty because I had to stop about 8 minutes into my treadmill workout to drink some water and yawn LOL.

Today I skipped breakfast again! I know what it is. I need to get milk for my cereal or get bananas. In the morning I am too lazy to fry an egg! These past 3 mornings I had plans to make an egg and toast but it never happened. Eating breakfast is one of the hardest things for me to get used to. I have such a hard time eating when I first get up. I have realized if it’s not grab and go or easy to prepare I say screw it. For lunch I had a lean cuisine and then for dinner I had 2 eggs fried with my 0 calorie spray and 2 slices of my sara lee 45 calorie multi-grain toast. Not quite the time I wanted to eat eggs but I had the taste for them sunny-side up.

I cannot wait to be where I want to be! I was telling Michael when that time comes I want to go shopping in Appleton at the mall and get new clothes! My Mom has gotten me a few new shirts but I can’t wait to go “school clothes shopping” again! LOL – That’s what it will feel like but minus the me being in school part.

Other things that I have noticed since I have started losing weight; my arm tattoo looks so much better! It is actually wrapping around my arm nice instead of it looking like it’s in the middle of white arm fat. I remember when I got it done I had him do it a certain way so it would look normal if I were to lost weight. Chairs are no longer a huge enemy and restaurant booths and seat belts are a breeze! Part of me feels the same and part of me doesn’t. It’s hard for me to tell because I am me. Sometimes I wish I could meet myself just so I could see what I really looked like to other people. I haven’t really gotten any comments about losing weight. It either isn’t noticeable yet or they are too afraid to say something because it will offend me but I would love it if people spoke their mind! It would make me one happy camper just to know what I am doing is actually making a visual impact on my appearance.

I am so excited for my end of the month cheat day. I still have yet to figure out what I want to have. 8 more days!!! I was thinking pizza but I did pizza for the past 2 months cheat days. I was thinking maybe chips and dip but I don’t know. I think if I were to go buy a tub of dip and a bag of chips knowing I was going to sit down and eat them all for a meal I would feel guilty and probably not even make it to the check out lol. I will probably end up ordering pizzas with Michael. Nothing else seems worthy enough. I could go to McDonalds and get burgers and fries or those new spicy chicken McBites I have been drooling over or I could go to KFC and get their new chicken bites they have but I don’t think fast food is worth filling my end of the month cheat day. I want to have something good, decadent, rich and homemade. Also; I don’t want to have to make it. I have been craving steak so maybe I’ll get get a big steak dinner. Maybe I’ll ask my Mom to make a big nice home-style dinner with a roast or something. OK enough dreaming about my cheat meal. After all this is a WEIGHT LOSS BLOG, HA! Cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, water, lettuce! There… I made up for all the greasy talk.

I need to go grocery shopping again and get fresh food. I have been eating these frozen lean cuisine meals lately and I am missing a crunch, a crisp or a snap! I am getting sick of the mush texture. Speaking of Lean Cuisines; a while back I had went to Wal-Mart and I was AMAZED at their Lean cuisine selection!!!! So many to choose from at GREAT prices!!! I now have a new favorite that I wish I would have gotten more than 2 of and that is their stuffed cabbage!! I was excited when I saw they had that! It comes with a side of mashed potatoes and they are so tasty. The mashed potatoes have a garlic taste but it’s not over powering. I can honestly say they were the best mashed potatoes I have ever tasted in a frozen meal or instant for that matter!!! BUT nothing can top fresh mashed potatoes!!! Don’t get me started on the cabbage roll. I was in AWE! It was so, so, so, so good. My Mom might get mad if I say this but it tasted like hers would a day old. (This is a good thing. Cabbage rolls are always better the next day!) - Next time I hit up Wal-Mart I am going to buy a crap load of that kind. It left me feeling so satisfied. I could not believe the flavor and it was also only 210 calories!!!! Doesn’t get much better than that!

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