Entry 79: I'm coming out; I want the world to know!!

<-- I have been watching too much Master Chef! LOL - For dinner I oven roasted a boneless; skinless chicken breast and had it with a veggie puree made up of green pepper, broccoli, onion and a wedge of my laughing cow cream cheese. The whole meal was about 200 calories. I had more of the puree on the side. For breakfast I had a cup of apple sauce and some fresh cherries and lunch I had a lean cuisine.

I walked to my Moms yesterday and today I still have yet to work out. I cut most of the back yard with the push mower until it stopped working again. I’ll have to have Michael look at it again tomorrow before he goes to work.

I have been weighing in everyday and like I said a few days ago when I was at 293 that I would probably stay there and I couldn’t have been more right. I have been teetering between 293 and 294 these past couple of days. I shouldn’t even be weighing myself this week because my Aunt Flo came to visit and well; you know how that goes…

I think now is when I will really start to feel the results. Now I feel like my wings are finally spreading! Right now I feel I am back around the weight that I was around 9th & 10th grade. Now is when I start to exceed my expectations of this process and excel! The only reason I think that is because I have a shirt that I have had since then and it has always been too small for me and now it finally fits! I have always kept on to it because I loved it so much; I couldn’t throw it away. It has NEVER fit me even since the day I bought it. When I started this I took a picture of me in it and I couldn’t even pull it down over my belly button. There is actually a little hole on the side of it from me trying to squeeze myself into it many times. It’s hard to compare myself weight wise between now and then because I had never really weighed myself. I only have pictures that I can go by but I have to stop comparing myself to the size I was in middle school/early high school because I am a woman now and I have to take that in to consideration; ha-ha. I feel I gained about what I have lost so far (45 pounds) since I have been with Michael. We got together the summer of 2007 and I think I just got too comfortable! I’m pretty sure I was just around 310 when we got together. Michael said I haven’t been this size since he’s been with me so it’s nice to know from here on out everything will be new and refreshing; I just hope he doesn’t fall out of love with me because I’ll start to look like a stranger! LOL; just kidding.

I am glad I am getting some of my creativity back; blog wise. For a while I have been having these brain farts/mental blocks! The words haven’t been flowing as freely on the keyboard as they used to be. I think I need to quit over thinking and just write what comes to mind the second it hits me.

Below is the first picture Michael and I ever took together! I look mad and I don’t have that dimple piercing anymore but my face isn’t as fat anymore. Michael says it is much narrower. It’s an awesome feeling to feel like I have taken off the past 5 years in just 2 ½ months! I feel like I have been walking around my whole life; living a lie. I never thought the way I looked expressed who I was. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me. I saw someone very unfamiliar. Everything about this process feels right. This is my mission right now in life and nothing will stop me. I have wanted this for far too long and this fire that is inside me is FLAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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