![]() The picture to the left was one of my snacks I had yesterday. It is less than 100 calories! 2 tablespoons of fat free ranch dressing, a couple chunks of green pepper, 1 tree of broccoli & cauliflower divided up, 1 lettuce leaf, a few chunks of tomato, some cucumber, a couple pea pods & 2 carrots; lightly peppered! It was very good. Very do-able! But if you read closely I wrote it was “one” of my snacks yesterday. I was bad. BUT I cheated with all healthy foods. I got the munchies to the extreme! What else I ended up snacking on was a batch of plain popcorn lightly salted, a banana, a yogurt and ONE Red Vine. I didn’t loose any weight and I am at the same number as I was yesterday so I’m glad I didn’t gain anything. I also didn’t do the treadmill last night. I know I said I was but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I tried doing sit-ups and only got to 20 before I quit and then I ran the stairs up and down only 2 times due to the dogs being annoying. They get so riled up when I try to work out. They either have to be at my Mom’s or put outside for me to be able to make any progress but they do not bug me that bad when I am on treadmill. Well not anymore. When I first went on it they were trying to bite my feet when I would run. I am ok with not getting it done yesterday. My body needed the break after 2 intense days of working out. I’m ok with it but deep down I know I’m just trying to make excuses for myself but it was Michaels Birthday! Ha ha.. Well I got my walk in today! My friend and I met up at 5:30 and hit the trail. It felt good to get some fresh air. Michael is at work until 3am so I am going to hit the treadmill around 9pm. I find that I enjoy it most around that time. Now, I’m not making any promises about doing the treadmill tonight because I did that yesterday and still didn’t do it. I guess you guys will just have to find out tomorrow! But as of right now I am determined on doing it! I feel I need to make up for yesterday. I still have my heat rash. It isn’t noticeable at all but I can feel it. My face feels so gross! I hope it goes away soon. I went to the supermarket earlier and stocked up on some weight watcher meals that were on sale. Now I’m good for a while! I hope they are as good as lean cuisines. Also that yogurt I had as a snack last night was pretty good too. I was really surprised. The flavor was strawberry cheesecake. It was awesome and I’m not even that big of a fan of strawberry cheesecake to begin with lol.. I am so ready to drop this weight! I wish I could just wave a magic wand and speed up the process! It has been a ridiculous burden my whole life that I just lived with. The weight I need to loose is a WHOLE ENTIRE person! How crazy is that? It’s like I’ve been giving someone a piggy back ride my whole life. The accommodations I have had to deal with over the years are ridiculous. I never really realized how messed up it was to act like life was normal for me. I mean who can’t have a bed frame because they will break it? Or if you do have a bed frame it needs ply-wood support. I already broke one end of our new couch just by using it daily. It would be nice to actually fit on a ride at the fair. It would also be nice to be able to buckle my seat belt in most cars or fit into a white lawn chair without it staying stuck to my butt when I get up! It would be nice to walk into a restaurant and sit down at any table without having to scan the entire place first to find the biggest booth. I am ready to kick fat in the butt!!!!! It has taken over my entire life for too long. The things I would be able to do, the things I AM going to be able to do! All of my insecurities about my life have to do with my weight. Maybe that’s why I have turned into such a homebody? My world used to revolve around food. I could never eat it fast enough. You would think I grew up with brothers and sisters having to fight for portions but nope! I am on the only child. I don’t know what feeling I was stuffing down, I am still trying to find out the “reason” on how I got the way I did but I’m still not coming up with anything. On the biggest loser they always have a sob story but still searching for mine if there is one! Maybe someone else would be able to tell me, lol. My childhood was great. Even though my Dad has been brain injured and disabled since I was born; I don’t have “daddy” issues. I had a pretty normal childhood thanks to my Mom. She always made everything normal. Or seem that way at least. I don’t think I got curious about my dad or asked any questions until I was in 5th or 6th grade. Maybe I am an emotional eater? I don't know... I think what it comes down to is that I just LOVE food!! Picture from our walk today... All stocked up on Weight Watcher meals!
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My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.
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