Menu
Marilyn Manfrom Photography
  • Home
  • Marilyn
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Marilyn
  • Contact

Entry 55: Would you like some bad with that good?

6/24/2012

0 Comments

 
I feel I need to get real again. I have been truthful with my blogs but have been leaving out the nitty gritty details that used to make it interesting.

Today I almost gave up. I felt as if I was back at square one. I have been feeling like this for a while now. Feeling like I have been setting myself up for failure. I didn’t want to deal with this process anymore. My problem is that it doesn’t happen fast enough. Throughout the years I would get all into fitness and when it didn’t happen the next day I said screw it. That’s kind of how I felt today. I’m still really big and I feel like I’m almost at a standstill. It almost seems like this process is never going to get over with. I acted like a baby, sat in silence, cried, got mad at Michael for literally no reason and fell asleep at 2 in the afternoon because all I wanted to do was lie in bed and feel sorry for myself. I slept for 10 minutes and woke up to Michael cutting the grass. I went downstairs and started to make dinner vigorously. I made bacon and macaroni & cheese. I was in the mind set that I was going to eat whatever; whenever and wherever I wanted and not care. When all the food was done I didn’t touch a single thing. I gave it to Michael and made myself 2 eggs and toast. Sometimes it almost feels like I have a split personality with dieting; one side of me is saying to eat junk! - eat junk! - eat junk! And the other side is telling me that I know better. Luckily the side that is telling me I know better is screaming it lol. I am very happy now that I didn’t go crazy earlier because if I did; I would have felt even worse. It took me all the way until about an hour and half ago when I finally put my shoes on; went down in the basement; stood on the treadmill and literally SLAPPED myself across the face. That is just what I needed. It snapped me out of it & I ended up having one of the best work outs I have had. I pushed myself and stepped up my routine!

"Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t want to."

Besides all the crazy; I didn’t cheat too badly on my cheat day when I was out of town yesterday. I didn’t have as much water as I would have liked to. I had a banana for breakfast and had some little snacks I packed for lunch because we were busy. For dinner I cheated with food that they had at the event. I had a sloppy joe, raw broccoli, carrots, raw cauliflower and I sat down; started eating and I realized that I had chips & dip on my plate!!! AHHH! I was eating them too! I have NO idea what I was thinking when I grabbed them. Those are my ONE big NO-NO thing. I ended up eating them and they were delicious. I only had a handful on the plate with a spoonful of dip & I did not get up and get any more. My chip addiction was so bad that I am programmed automatically to grab them when they are within sight! LOL! I literally thought “where was I?” when I noticed that I had them.
Picture
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.

    My Story
    Pictures


    Archives

    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.