Entry 371: Marilyn M. Diaries
It was a cool summer night in the middle of July. The curtain was whipping up with a cool breeze greeting those in its path with a chill. Sitting parched I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As I am replenishing my thirst I decide to open the closet and unbeknownst to me I stumbled upon the scariest thing I could ever imagine... It was... it was... THE SCALE! DUN...DUN...DUN..... After blowing the dust off I decided to give it a go. I was quickly brought back down to reality.
Like I suspected I have gained weight. As much as it is embarrassing for me to say, I literally can't hide the truth! It has been many months since I have weighed myself. The last time that I can remember documenting a weigh in was when I had originally lost 100 pounds. That day I weighed in at 238 (100 pounds down from my starting weight of 338) - Since that weigh in, which was a little over 1 year ago, I have gained 38 pounds back. YIKES! Thirty-Eight! Currently I am freaking out trying to wrap my head around what to do next. I know I can't think of it all in one big picture because I will just overwhelm myself & in the end never get anything accomplished. This past week I have started back with drinking my lemon water in the morning, first thing before I even open my eyes. I squeeze 1/2 of a lemon and mix the juice with 1 cup of warm water and gulp it down. I have always been pretty consistent with my water drinking. Very rarely will I have something else than water, coffee or green tea. So I am not too concerned with liquid calories. It's the FOOD that gets me and more importantly my lack of exercise.
But seriously what the heck happened?! I am mortified at the fact that I gained 38 pounds back. MORTIFIED! All that work and effort I put in to this whole process I just shot down the crapper. I have to re-do what I already did. I hate having to do something twice.
This past week I have been going crazy, trying to squeeze every craving I have out of my system. I have been a bad, bad girl because I know Monday I am buckling down and getting with the program. The thoughts that went through my mind before sitting down to write this were to the point of not say anything at all. The question, "What will people think?" kept ringing through my mind; the embarrassment of starting over, feeing like a failure and a phony. But like I have always said before the first step is to GET REAL and my way of doing that is to blog about it. When it comes down to it, I am doing this for me. No one else's opinion of my situation matters as long and I am trying to live positively and better myself.
And so it begins....
The reconstruction of my health, will-power & confidence! Buckle up because I know we are in for another bumpy ride.
7/13/2014 07:25:21 am
Well it's not like all of us haven't been there. Just think. If you got on the scale and Had gained 100 pounds back, how Shocking Would that have been?! LOL. You know what to do. And it's really not a big deal. Now I just drink lemon water, eat right and exercise. As John would say, there you have it.
7/13/2014 12:50:22 pm
You are absolutely right! 🍋💪
7/14/2014 12:59:43 pm
Don't beat yourself up to much. You have had a lot of things going on in your life, so now you just start again,,, one step at a time. You don't need to explain anything to anyone but yourself. And to hell with what other people think!!!!! It's what you think and do that matters. YOU GO GIRL ,,,, you know what to do.
7/14/2014 02:15:25 pm
Thank you Kathy 😊💕
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My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.