Entry 338: On the road to happiness...

So I just weighed myself for the first time in 5 months. I have been avoiding it but I am glad I did because it was the slap in the face that I needed. I know I have gained some weight back but I wasn't sure just how much. Now I know and I am too embarrassed to say at the moment. I promised myself before I stepped on the scale to not let the number discourage me but only to motivate me in the right direction. I have been making excuses for when I am going to re-start or wait for the perfect time to start but in reality there is no perfect time. The time is now and I know if I want to get anywhere close to where I want to be for my wedding next June I have to get the ball rolling NOW. The longer I wait the longer I prolong my progress. I can't let myself go any further down the road that I am headed.

So in saying this; today is the day that I clean out my cupboards. Any junk is going bye-bye. Today is the day I am also going to start an exercise routine. I had a Halloween party about a week ago and cleaned my whole house so it's nice and organized down in my basement. I am going to feng shui my workout space down there and make it cozy because after all I plan to spend a lot of time down there. Maybe I won't dread my workouts so much. I have to make it a happy space and not a dreaded dungeon.

I haven't been the greatest with my food choices today. It'll be a lot easier once I finish cleaning out all the junk food because I will not have those options to tempt me. Tomorrow will be my first full day of making better choices. No fast food and if I go out I will order something lean or green. Like I have said and read before; "Will Power is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets."

You guys have no idea how many times I've sat here trying to write a post but I couldn't find the right words say.

The weather is getting colder and winter is approaching. My mood has been up and down and I can feel the seasons changing. I hate it! I wish summer was just a little bit longer.

Today has been full of revelations. I am so proud of myself for stepping on the scale when I could have put it off a little longer. I now know where I am at and exactly how far I have let myself veer of course. My Mom and Michael have been great and I know they know it was only a matter of time before I got myself back into the swing of things. I am for real this time. Like for real, for real.

Earlier today I helped my Mom clean and move stuff upstairs for storage. That also made me realize just how out of shape I let myself get. I lost my breath within just the second trip of carrying stuff up the stairs. I know it's not going to be easy but from here on out I am going to push myself to be the best that I can be. I promise.

I am still working full time and love the job. I had today off so I spent most of it thinking about a strategy. In the end I figured out that I don't have a strategy LOL and that I'm just going to jump into this thing full force!! No more feeling discouraged; no more self-pity. I am on the road to happiness, whether I like it or not!

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Michael and I at our Halloween party this year. I am not sure what I was but I know I was dedicated to the outfit LOL - I couldn't see out of my right eye the whole time! And well you can tell how creative Michael got with his costume HAHA... All in all it was a fun time :-)