 I have no idea what to say nor do I have any excuses for leaving you guys hanging this long. It's pure negligence! I have veered off course pretty bad and have been trying to figure out ways to attack the situation of getting myself back on track (once again). I have not blogged just for the reason of not wanting to confront what is going on. This is so stinkin' hard! I have not stepped on the scale but I know I have been packing on the pounds. If you have come to get motivation from me today, it's not here!
I have become lazy and have been indulgent in the things that I have tried so hard to avoid. I have come to ignore the elephant in the room and I need to get back down to earth. I need to face the reality that I am gaining weight. I can feel it in my face, I can feel my clothes fitting tighter, I can feel I am not the same.........mentally & physically. I need to start making better choices. I cannot let myself go any further backwards. I have become oblivious to the old habits that I have picked back up. I do realize now that I am an emotional eater. I have been down in the dumps for veering off course..... disappointed in myself... angry.... and for that I have been shoving down those feelings with food. Eating the wrong things then makes me lethargic and from there I have no energy nor the mood I need to get motivated/stay positive. It has just avalanched into something ugly. Right now I am trying to climb my way out of this hole that I have let myself fall into. I need to get my mind where it needs to be. I need to not to pity myself but to go back to seeing the positive side of things. Blogging about it: STEP ONE
3 Comments
Deb
10/8/2013 02:51:24 pm
Ok. So you've confessed. You are aware. Now lighten up on yourself. Start small again. Starting a new job has redirected your focus; very understandable. Go back to one day at a time and incorporate one weight loss step at a time til you feel your way back into a rhythm. Try adding your tea and water and subtracting one unhealthy thing. Build little healthy things into your routine slowly and don't visit the scale often. It's all about routine. The will will return. Meanwhile, smile. You are not 338 lbs.
Deb
10/8/2013 02:55:48 pm
Go back and read your blog from the very beginning. You will be your best inspiration.
Carleen :)
10/9/2013 03:01:32 am
Don't let this de-rail you. Go back and read your blogs about how happy and proud of yourself you were. You worked so hard and you look great. A lot if people cannot even come close to what you achieved. Leave a Reply. |
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.
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