Menu
Marilyn Manfrom Photography
  • Home
  • Marilyn
  • Contact
  • FALL MINI SESSIONS
  • Home
  • Marilyn
  • Contact
  • FALL MINI SESSIONS

Entry 322: Getting my ducks in a row

8/8/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Ever since I was younger I have wanted to lose weight. I remember when I was in 7th grade I was talking to a fellow classmate and I mentioned that I wanted to lose weight. I remember they said something along the lines of; "I like you the way you are, don't lose weight. You wouldn't be MarBear if you did. It would be weird." - To think I actually carried that with me for so many years, if others were ok with me than why shouldn't I be? It was something that I always thought back to when I tried to lose weight before. It was almost an anchor that held me down for so many years. Since it was said to me in such a positive way, I found that I would tell myself "People will not like me if I lose weight." To think I actually thought I'd lose friends?! If you think I'm crazy now, imagine my mind at a 7th grade level. I twisted EVERYTHING up, therefore, holding me back from what I most desired. Somehow gaining the nickname "MarBear" didn't help either. I was never made fun of with that nickname but was called it often by many people for the fact that I was bigger? I can't imagine why else. It's the little things that can make the most impact I guess.

I am at a point right now where I feel like Eddy Murphy as Sherman Klump in The Nutty Professor. I have been feeling different (& not in a good way). I have been slowly seeing my old self come out. The face says it all for me. The first weight I lose or gain is in my face and let's just say a double chin has been making its appearance. It's a good thing I plan to start back up full force this coming week. I am going grocery shopping this weekend so whatever day we go is when I will start. I know I can start now but for me I have to have a game plan mapped out in my head. Like I said in my last post, this past week has been all about mental preparation. I have already lost 100 pounds; I know I can do it again. If I think I feel helpless now, I just have to remember how helpless I felt on day 1 when I was 338 pounds. Sometimes I forget but I need to remember my pain, my struggles and the determination that the 338 pound Marilyn had. I need to remember how bad I wanted this and how far I have already come. It is a lifestyle change and I don't know how I got so off course. This summer was supposed to be my summer! I also haven't weighed myself. I am scared to! Right now, I feel that I'm better off not knowing for fear of any further discouragement. I will weigh in when I am ready and am feeling good. I know once I re-start I am going to take off; I have made this up in my mind. No food is worth it unless Gordon Ramsey were to make me something then in that case I would eat whatever he gave me EVEN if it fell on the floor (I'm a HUGE fan) LOL - I know what has worked for me in the past and I know what I need to do to succeed. Watch out world, HERE I COME! (again)


Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.

    My Story
    Pictures


    Archives

    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.