Entry 288: April fools!

Today is April fools! No tomfoolery for me yet! I used to have a lot of fun with this day when I was little but not so much anymore because I suck at lying and being able to hold a straight face! These days I find myself the victim and not the fooler! lol - I have not had any pranks pulled on me yet but I am still on guard! My Mom always seems to get me pretty good.

Day 1 of kick-butt April is going good so far! I had my lemon water and then made myself a breakfast sandwich. I missed lunch and am not sure what I will have for dinner yet. I am half way through my water jug and am on my 4th cup of green tea. I still have yet to workout but I am going to git er done after I post this!

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<-- I have had this felt poster for a few years now and the other day I decided to start coloring it in. It took me about 5 hours over a span of 4 days but I am really glad I took my time because I think it turned out pretty neat! The reason why I am bringing it up is that I finished coloring it yesterday but when I had gotten to the point where I only had 1 corner left to color in, I joked and told Michael "well, I'm done!" and he said "what do you mean you're done? You have 1 corner left to do!" - I replied back jokingly; "eh, I don't feel like doing this anymore" - After that joke I looked at it and realized it was a lot like my weight loss journey. I have come so far that why wouldn't I just put the last bit of tedious work into it and color in that last corner?? For some reason it made a lot of sense to me and so yesterday after looking at my journey like the way I looked at the felt poster I was coloring, I am more motivated than ever. It's silly to go so far into something and start slacking off when I am so close to the finish line. I have had a hard time these past few months with getting back on track and sticking with what needs to be done that all I needed to do was color, ha-ha! Sometimes it can take the simplest thing to make us see a situation clearer.

Once I get to 100 pounds down I can't even explain to you how I will feel. I know a big part of me throughout this journey has a hard time recognizing how far I have come and some days it feels surreal. People say "you must feel great" and don't get me wrong I do but only to a certain point; most of the time I still see me as the way I used to be. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am no longer 338 pounds and I am finally accomplishing what I once thought was impossible. If someone were to come up to me last May and tell me that I would be where I am at today I would have probably laughed in their face. I would only have believed it as much as someone telling me that Mickey Mouse was real. I think what has been keeping me back these past couple of months is that I am scared. I have a fear of finally finishing out what I have started. As weird as it sounds I feel my brain needed to catch up with reality. I know I still want to lose more weight after I reach 100 pounds down but to lose 100 pounds was my initial goal. It has always been my dream to lose 100 pounds and here I am; doing it.

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