Entry 188: Ok, so I lied.

I can’t really put into words on how I have been feeling lately. I have been going through a weird phase. I have lost my way with my weight-loss and am having a hard time trying to “feel” back on track. I have been slacking really badly on my exercising and on my control to not eat crap. I haven’t exceeded calorie intakes; I just have been making poor choices. I have had that “screw it” attitude. 

I wanted to start to update my blog only once a week but I think I am going to go back to everyday or at least try to update everyday again. I took a little break and miss it. I deleted my facebook yesterday or “deactivated” it. I couldn’t figure out how to delete it permanently. So far I have been having a hard time getting used to not checking it every 2 seconds so I will invest my time on here. I don’t miss it; it’s just hard to break the habit. I don’t have plans to ever re-activate it. My blog will now be my means of internet fun.

So to start off my new outlook on things I have re-vamped my site here. I like it better. It’s nice to look at a different layout. It may not be much to look at but I think it’s easier to navigate. If any of you have problems; please let me know!

This morning I had my cup of coffee. I have really been slacking on eating breakfast. It has always been hard for me to eat within the 1st hour I get up in the morning. I had 2 eggs and toast about 2 hours after I woke up. I was doing so well with eating breakfast right away, drinking my green tea, eating healthy and being so concerned with what I put in my mouth that if you were to look at my routine now you would wonder what happened. I think I lost my excitement or my thrill for this process. I need to get that back otherwise I will never succeed or reach my ultimate goal. Part of me thinks I am scared. I am starting to really get into a stage in my weight-loss where I am not comfortable with myself. I am so used to being overweight that the thought of becoming smaller is terrifying. I know weird right? I never thought I’d have this feeling after losing almost 80 pounds. No one wants to be fat but when it has been all you have known, it’s hard to adjust. I have built up this wall that is preventing me from moving forward and I need to start knocking that sucker down.

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