Today was frustrating but in a good way. This morning I decided to get out of the funk I have been in since yesterday so I showered and ended up walking to my Moms and back for my exercise. It was nice getting some fresh air. The frustrating part was after my shower when I started to get ready. I could not find anything to wear. Everything I have; even some of my new stuff that I had gotten is too big or it fits me good in one area and then is really big in another. I feel I am going through that awkward stage where I’m finding nothing I have to fit well and I hate to keep buying clothes just to have them not fit the next week. My friend is going to be bringing me some clothes on Tuesday that his Mom is getting rid of. He says that they are all different sizes so I hope I find something that works for me! I could wear my old clothes but they do not make me feel good about myself and make me look larger than I really am.
Yesterday for me was a Moo-Moo day. I know it was my cheat day but I haven’t done that in a while. It’s where I lounge around all day and never get dressed and just wear my huge Moo-Moo dress. I used to wear it all the time when I was home before because it was easy and I had gotten so large that I had started going more towards the convenience aspect of things rather than the style. I would rather stay home in my moo-moo than to have to get dressed to go somewhere. Now it is really, really huge on me. Maybe yesterday I was feeling nostalgic? Whatever it was I’m glad I snapped out of my funk. I think the walk did it. I am amazed by the fact that I know how good exercising/walking can make me feel but is sometimes one of the hardest things to get myself to do. Granted I am 100% more active now than I once was. When I’m home alone I no longer just sit on the couch; I turn on the music video channel and crank up the volume while I’m doing other things and there is always a song that gets my blood pumping because I cannot resist the urge to move my body! That’s how 90% of my 30 minute dance workouts start.
Today my Mom and I have both decided it is time to burn the moo-moo dress!!! I am entering a new chapter of my life with new beginnings. I do not want to bask in the glory of my moo-moo days or ever feel tempted to go backwards. In a very weird way losing weight has made me somewhat insecure about my body because I’m not used to it. I feel it would be cleansing for me to get rid of the moo-moo and accept these new changes/feelings.
On another note; there are many things I am realizing I can do now with much less effort. When I was 338 pounds; to tie my shoe I had to sit down, prop my leg up on my other leg and tie my shoe and half of the time it would be tied on the side due to me not being able to reach the lace very well to get the knot in the middle. Today I went to re-tie my shoe and I just shot down and stared straight at my foot and tied my shoe with ease. I barely even had to bend my knee.
This morning I had cereal for breakfast with skim milk. I had a snack of pretzels and missed lunch. I had a lasagna lean cuisine for dinner with 2 slices of my wheat toast sprinkled with my baby bell cheese and garlic powder. I drank half of my 75oz water jug and am drinking my 7th cup of green tea for the day right now. Is it weird that I woke up feeling smaller after I had that small Riverside pizza yesterday? I am so curious on what I weigh now but I know I’ll be happier if I wait until the 16th. It has been a while since I have stepped on that scale! The last I weighed myself I was 61 pounds down.
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.