Entry 112: Cleaning out my closet.

I woke up and had 2 eggs and toast. I missed lunch and had a lean cuisine for dinner. I don’t even know how many cups of green tea I had today. I lost track after 5 lol. I still have yet to work out but have plans to go down in the basement. I am going to do some weights, crunches and leg lifts tonight and then the exercise bike. It has been a long time since I have done weights and stuff; I’m starting to feel like a weenie. 

I haven’t weighed myself since last Friday. I’m waiting until this Friday to weigh in for the week. I have also decided that starting next week my new cheat day for every week is going to be on Sunday instead of Friday. If I can stick with only weighing in once a week it will be on Sunday too. Thought I’d spice things up a bit.

I am starting to feel different; a new kind of different. It is almost like I am at a new stage in my weight-loss. I see things differently; more clear and the little things that I thought mattered actually don’t. I have come to the conclusion that I have a hard time with letting things go. I also have always been too hard on myself. Once someone would lift me up; I would beat myself out of accepting a compliment.

I have finally gotten over my severe insecurity towards my upper arms. It may be weird but my arms are the reason why I would always wear layers or sweaters on 80 degree days. I have always been more insecure about my arms than my belly. I have no idea why. I also went through a scarf phase. I had to always be wearing a scarf because I hated my neck/double chin. I used to make my hair huge with hair spray when it was shorter just because I thought if I was overweight I didn’t want to have a little head so I had to proportion my hair to fit my body size, LOL -Like what! The things I didn’t do because of those insecurities. The things I missed out on!!!! Where was I then; when I needed me the most?

In the end; I have realized that you will not enjoy life to its fullest if you are not your own biggest fan first.

Picture below is evidence of my hair spray and scarf days lol but if you knew me then you will remember these awkward stages!

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