I don't know what it is but I just can't seem to pull myself together on the weekends! I had my cheat day friday. I ended up cheating with 2 cups of hot cocoa w/mellow bits and pizza! I ordered out a medium pepperoni pizza with hot peppers, black olives and onions. I pigged out and ate most of it but couldn't finish. Yesterday was not my cheat day but I ended up going out last night. I didn't exceed my calorie intake for the day and I didn't cheat with food but I did have a few drinks. I didn't get a workout in. I have yet to workout today but I WILL. This morning I had my lemon water and had 2 eggs and wheat toast for breakfast. For lunch I had a frozen meal of spaghetti and took 2 slices of wheat bread and baked them in the oven with garlic. I plan on making a baked pork loin fillet with baked sweet potato fries for dinner. I am on my 4th cup of green tea and have about half way to go on my water jug.
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Here is where my frustration lies.... Working so hard this week with not cheating, exercising everyday to a sweat and I only lost 1 pound this week. I am happy that I am back to officially being 80 pounds down but I would be lying if I didn't say I was a bit bummed after the great weigh in I had last week. I guess I will have to take into consideration that I must have either gained weight in muscle or am bloated from you know what...but still...it almost gives you that feeling of why bother. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is worth it to work out even if I do not see the results I was hoping for. Today is tomorrow and exercising can only benefit your future. I may not be happy now but if I gained muscle, I should have a good weigh in next Friday if I keep up the good work. They say for every pound of muscle you gain your body burns an extra 50 calories per day; on it's own! I am happy it is my cheat day today. I feel I need a break. My Mom said my cheat days should only be for cheating on food and that I still should work out. I don't think that way. I feel it is good to give your body 1 day a week to rest. I don't give myself cheat days if I feel I don't deserve them but after this week I know it is much needed. It's almost 11am and I skipped my lemon water this morning and made myself a cup of coffee with CREAM & SUGAR. I have not had coffee with cream or sugar in a very long, LONG time. I only added about a teaspoon of sugar and about a teaspoon of creamer, in the end I think I rather have my coffee without it! I don't think I will be posting my calorie charts on my cheat days like I was saying. It's not because I plan to cheat really bad and don't want you guys to know, it's because it's my cheat day! haha - Also it is hard to find certain foods in the database for food items that are made by local restaurants. I will write about what I ate but am not going to go through the bother of calculating calories. I also think of my cheat days as a break not only for my body but my mind as well. Dieting can be mentally exhausting when you are still working towards making it your lifestyle. There will be a point where it will not be such a big deal to have a cheat day but as of right now I am not quite there yet and looking forward to cheat days are a BIG part of what keeps me going. I had my lemon water this morning and a banana for breakfast. I had a turkey sandwich for lunch on wheat bread and for dinner I had a can of Healthy Choice soup with some saltine crackers. I have also had a snack of 2 Smudgies today and some low fat graham crackers. Tomorrow is my cheat day and I plan on cheating! I have worked hard this week. I am not sure what I am going to cheat with yet but there is a good possibility it might be pizza! I will be getting my monthly visit any day now and I am just having one of those days where I just feel BLAH! I still plan to weigh in tomorrow. I just got back upstairs not too long ago from a basement workout. I am feeling it! I am looking forward to letting my body relax tomorrow. Everyday this week I have been pushing myself and have stuck to my strict personal diet/exercise guidelines. I wasn't going to workout tonight but I just had to. I couldn't quit when today was the last day I could get a workout in before I weigh in tomorrow morning. As much as I didn't want to do it I forced myself to put my shoes on and sucked it up! I had a great workout last night. I still have yet to workout today but I will before bed. I had my lemon water first thing this morning and have had 5 cups of green tea. I am half way through my water jug. I had a fried egg sandwich for breakfast and for lunch I had my last bowl of turkey chili. For dinner I am going to have broiled cod with baked sweet potato fries. I am going to start dinner after I post this...which is now because I don't have anything else to write about! lol I had my lemon water first thing this morning and then ate a banana for breakfast. I had a bowl of chili for lunch and will be having another bowl for dinner. I am on my 4th cup of green tea and still have half ways to go on my water jug. I did a great basement workout last night. I woke up this morning feeling smaller. I love mornings like that. Sometimes when I lie in bed at night I like to think I can feel the fat just melting away lol. My body is starting to take shape and I can't wait to see what I am actually supposed to look like! haha - Really... I have never known myself to be any smaller than am I right now. I figure I was about the size I am now in middle school so any weight-loss I have in the future will all be completely new to me. I feel like this whole time I have been hiding behind all that fat. I knew I was in there somewhere! There are so many things I can do now that I had trouble with before. Shaving my legs is a big one - OMG! How much easier it is! and like I have said before it has also been nice to not have to worry about seatbelts, restaurant booths and even clothes shopping. Things are just getting easier and easier and it can only get better from here! The other night I was watching tv with Michael and I was sitting on the couch hugging my knees. I didn't even think about it when I did it but after sitting there for a while the thought ran across my mind that I could have never done that before when I was 338. I can't wait to weigh in this Friday and see how much I have lost this week. I still have yet to workout today but I plan to do a basement workout before bed. I have been doing 15 minutes of weights/stretching and 15 minutes on the treadmill. Sometimes I jog and other times I do a brisk walk. I don't know where I would be today without my treadmill! lol - I am such a homebody that I don't think i'd be as far as I am now without having one. The best part of it is; we got it for free and it was meant for our Labrador Retriever named Silver! At the time she didn't have anyone her age/size to play with and we didn't go for walks so we thought we would train her on the treadmill so she wouldn't get overweight. It never happened because once we got the treadmill in the basement it didn't work. In the end we got another Lab named Nibbler that is now her play buddy and I ended up using the treadmill! I remember when I started using it that it was still broke so I would have to make it go myself. That was a good workout but now that it is fixed and working I can use it to its full potential. I never thought i'd use it EVER. As old and awkward as it is, it's gotten me through some tough times. AHHH! Michael just turned the TV channel to the show "How It's Made" and they are making treadmills!! TOO FREAKY!!! <-- Today is my Mom's Birthday! This is the cake I made her. I usually suck when it comes to baking but am pretty proud of myself on this one lol. I didn't have a piece but I tried a little chunk of it just out of curiosity. I am becoming stronger and stronger everyday and in order for me to keep my will power strong I have to be hard on myself on days like today! My Mom loved it and that is all that matters :-) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU! I am going to work out in the basement after I post this. I am done with my 75oz water jug and have had 5 cups of green tea. I had a snack of a Smudgie not too long ago and for breakfast I had oatmeal. For lunch/dinner I had a bowl of chili with some oyster crackers. I enjoyed my chili so much I thought I would share my recipe below. I don't have too much to say today. I am staying on track and am staying positive! MARILYN'S SPICY TURKEY CHILI YIELDS ABOUT 7 - 255 CALORIE 2 CUP SERVINGS WHOLE BATCH: 1,367 CALORIES INGREDIENTS CHOPPED CELERY 1 CHOPPED ONION 1 SEEDED AND MINCED JALAPEÑO 1 POUND GROUND TURKEY 1 CHOPPED GREEN PEPPER 4 MINCED CLOVES OF GARLIC 1 -15oz CAN DEL MONTE DICED BASIL, GARLIC & OREGANO TOMATOES 1 -15oz CAN BUSH'S KIDNEY BEANS 1 -15 oz CAN BUSH'S CHILI BEANS 1 -6oz CAN TOMATO PASTE 2 CUPS WATER EXTRA LIGHT OLIVE OIL SPICES 2 TABLESPOONS OF CHILI POWDER 1/2 TEASPOON PAPRIKA 1/2 TEASPOON DRIED OREGANO 1/2 TEASPOON GROUND CAYENNE PEPPER 1/2 TEASPOON GROUND CUMIN 1/2 TEASPOON SALT 1/2 TEASPOON GROUND BLACK PEPPER GARLIC POWDER DIRECTIONS: HEAT A LITTLE BIT OF OLIVE OIL IN A FRYING PAN AND ADD WHOLE POUND OF GROUND TURKEY. CHOP UP IN PAN AND SEASON WITH DESIRED AMOUNT OF GARLIC POWDER, PEPPER & SALT. ADD 3 MINCED GARLIC CLOVES AND COOK TURKEY UNTIL BROWNED. AFTER TURKEY IS BROWNED ADD WHOLE CHOPPED GREEN PEPPER AND LET SIT ON MEDIUM STIRRING ON AND OFF. WHILE TURKEY AND GREEN PEPPER ARE STILL COOKING; IN A LARGE POT ADD WATER, CAN OF KIDNEY BEANS (DO NOT DRAIN), CAN OF CHILI BEANS (DO NOT DRAIN), CAN OF DICED TOMATOES (DO NOT DRAIN), CHOPPED CELERY, WHOLE CHOPPED ONION, WHOLE MINCED JALAPEÑO & 1 MINCED CLOVE OF GARLIC. ONCE IT STARTS TO BOIL ADD TURKEY AND GREEN PEPPER MIXTURE AND ALL SPICES EXCEPT GARLIC POWDER. AFTER IT BOILS FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES, STIR IN CAN OF TOMATO PASTE. STIR CONSISTENTLY AND LET BOIL FOR ABOUT 10 MORE MINUTES THEN LET IT SIMMER FOR ABOUT A HALF HOUR UNTIL IT THICKENS, STIRRING ABOUT EVERY 10 MINUTES. KEEP COOKING UNTIL DESIRED CONSISTENCY AND ENJOY! NOTE: IT WILL SEEM VERY WATERY AT FIRST BUT WILL THICKEN UP NICELY! DO NOT ADD ANYTHING ELSE TO THICKEN! (LEVEL OF SPICY IS MILD - ADD SEEDS OF JALAPEÑO IF YOU LIKE IT REAL HOT!) I went grocery shopping today and made my Turkey chili! It was the first time that I have worked with ground turkey and I was worried I would not like it but I could not even notice a difference in taste. I made it a spicy chili by adding a seeded jalapeño. I can honestly say that this was the best chili I have ever made! It was so tasty, so filling and only 255 calories per bowl! The only thing I added that is not pictured was my secret spices and a small can of tomato paste. I got 7 bowls out of this batch and each bowl has 2 cups in it. I can't wait to have some tomorrow. Chili is always better the second day. I made those Smudgie frozen sandwiches that I have been writing about and they are so good too! 1 Smudgie is about 90 calories. The recipe I went off of said it would make 8 sandwiches but I got 12 out of my batch. I had my lemon water first thing this morning and am currently on my 5th cup of green tea. I had a banana for breakfast and a banana for lunch. I would have had a better lunch if I wasn't so preoccupied with other things. For dinner I had a bowl of turkey chili with some saltine crackers. I am almost done with my 75oz water jug. This weekend has been "EH" on the diet front. Friday was my cheat day but I didn't cheat with food and came in under my daily calories. I also didn't work out like I was planning to. I tried to cheat but just couldn't. I was in the grocery store walking around and was planning on getting myself a frozen pizza to pig out on but I ened up getting a healthy sub from Subway instead. Yesterday was my down day. I ended up cheating with food and skipped working out again. I don't know what came over me. I had done so good all day and then around 10PM I was scraping up change and the next thing I knew I was in the car driving to McDonalds. In my mind I had myself convinced it was ok. I got a large fry and a McChicken. That put me 782 calories over the daily limit I give myself. I feel I had my cheat days completely backwards and am mad at myself that I would let 2 days go by without exercise especially when I had McDonalds! BUT today I broke my streak and I just got done with an awesome basement workout not too long ago. I pushed myself hard and can't wait to weigh in again on Friday. I hope to lose at least 2 pounds this week. It will mean a lot to me once I get past the -80 mark. It seems for months I have been fighting with that number and to finally lose more than 80 pounds will be a great accomplishment for me. It will mean I am OFFICIALLY back on track and and am getting closer and closer to being 100 pounds down! Even after I cheated with fast food I still feel that I have lost something since my last weigh in. I have been getting that "lighter than air" feeling that I oh, so love! I can't wait to see what my future holds :-) You guys will not believe it!!!!!!! It took a lot to gear myself up this morning to weigh in. I was so nervous! I got up, went to the bathroom and then just did it. Drum roll please :::::::::::: In the past ten days I have lost 14 pounds! YES! FOURFREAKINTEEN! I AM STILL FREAKING OUT! I can't even believe it. I had to re-adjust my eyes, step on the scale 2 more times just to make sure... It just shows how much I have been kicking butt! I am only 1 pound away from shaking off my 15 pound gain. As of today I am 259 pounds and 79 pounds down. I only have 21 more to go until I will have lost 100!!! To just think what is possible in only 10 days of serious commitment I think I will have the rest off in no time. I am so happy I could scream! Well I did scream lol I freaked my dogs out but it was one of those moments that a scream was needed lol. A happy scream that is. I really feel like I have just won the lottery. I'm back baby! I am so happy I didn't let that 15 pound gain bring me down. The old me would have gotten so discouraged that I would have officially put the kibosh to it all. I feel back on track now and I have plans to only excel from here on out! Never, EVER quit. Today is my first Friday cheat day since I have re-started my journey. So far I have been a rebel and skipped my lemon water and made myself a cup of coffee instead. Living on the edge, I know! lol - I have the option today to cheat with food and not exercise. As of right now I don't have plans to cheat with food. I also still have plans to workout! Some cheat day lol - I will probably make those smudgie sandwiches I posted about the other day and have a couple later on tonight but that will most likely be the extent of it. After seeing my results today I am having a hard time getting into the cheat day mind frame. Which is great! Knowing that I am only 1 pound away from being back to -80 has inspired me. Last night I wanted to munch so bad but I didn't. I kept wishing it was my Friday cheat day so I could. I am so glad I didn't cave in last night and munch. I tend to do that to myself before my weigh in days. It's like I subconsciously try to sabotage myself. I don't know why! Sometimes I feel like Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself & Irene" ...trying to kill that part of me that just says do it, just eat it, what could it hurt, common you know you want it!... lol NO ONE can wipe the smile off my face today! Since I have posted today's post early I do not have my daily calorie chart ready yet. Later on once I have it all filled out I will add it to the end of this. |
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.
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