I have been good! I had a great weekend. It was so nice out! I think our spring has finally sprung. The day before yesterday Michael and I did yard work. We were out there for about 5 hours! We just kept going. I am amazed at the difference from last year to this year with my weight-loss. Last year around this time I would cry like a big baby about doing any kind of physical labor lol. This year I was on top of it! I can't believe how much more UN-lazy I am and how much more pride I have in doing things! I told Michael I am going to take good care of our yard this summer. We picked up the fenced in dog area and that took a while because our dogs are spoiled and have way too many toys! I went through them and washed some and threw some away. We also raked the yard and I walked around the outside of our fence and picked up all of the trash. I also used the leaf blower to clear the driveway and moved all of our outdoor furniture outside from the basement.
We had our first fire of the year on Friday! I can't wait to have many more. I love sitting around the fire and I feel blessed that I get to live this lifestyle every day.
Yesterday it was in the 70's but I just couldn't seem to get with it. I woke up so sore from all of that yard work the day before. I felt fine when I went to bed Friday night but when I woke up Saturday morning I could barely move lol. Even though I was sore I was so excited to get my bicycle ready. We put air in the tires and greased up the chain. I feel so much more confident on it than when I first got it. When I first got it I couldn't get the idea out of my head that I must look like a freak show riding it because I was bigger. I am still bigger but now my attitude has totally changed. I don't give a crap what I look like on it! I don't care if it looks like the seat is wedged up my rear, I DON'T CARE! As long as I'm enjoying myself I could care less what other people might think driving by. That is another way I have grown over this past year with my journey.
I have also decided I will not be having a specific weigh in day anymore. I am still going to keep on track but I am going to live my life. I am not going to live by the number anymore and I am just going to enjoy every moment as it comes. I will still weigh in but it will be when I feel like it. I will not let the number on the scale define me. After all it is just a number. I knew this all along but when you have a journey similar to mine, I feel it was necessary to live by the number until I felt comfortable with who I was. Some people are comfortable at 338 pounds but that was not me. I am entering a new chapter of my life and I WILL ALWAYS have everything I have learned over this past year in the back of my head. I feel confident I can proceed without caution and I know in my heart I will never let myself go backwards. I finally feel free.
This morning I am back on to doing my lemon water first thing. I am also back to making sure I drink my 75oz jug of water, exercising, eating right and drinking my 5 cups of green tea. I went for a walk earlier with a friend and then I walked to my Moms a little while ago. Chewie and Heidi were over there so I walked there by myself and then walked them back home. We barely made it in the door and it started raining/hailing! We were lucky! So, so lucky! I couldn't believe it. We saw the clouds rolling in and heard rumbling and we booked it. If I would have spent one more minute yacking with my Mom we would have gotten soaked! Not to mention the hail would have hurt too!
I have been taking a break from posting. I know I said I was going to post every day with the occasional Saturday off but lately I have been feeling a lot of "pressure". Over the past couple of days I have completely thrown everything out the window and have not kept up with my green tea, lemon water, exercise, etc. I will also not be weighing in today. I have this gut feeling I won't be happy so I will wait to weigh in next Friday. I feel I needed to give myself these past couple of days/week to clear my head. I am going to take the rest of the weekend off and do not have plans to post anymore until Monday. I have realized I am not going to have set days that I post and will just write a blog when I feel like I have something new to say. Sometimes it can get old reading the same crap about what I ate, etc. I could post everyday next week or I could only post a couple times but I will try to keep them frequent! I have been in another one of my funks and have been having a hard time giving a hoot. The weather is supposed to keep getting nicer and nicer so hopefully my mood perks up with it! I also have been taking antibiotics for my teeth. They have been giving me grief and have also been a big part of why I have been slacking. I hope to solve my pain soon because it has been giving me a constant headache for the past couple of weeks. I have been eating ibuprofen daily. I hope to get some fresh air this weekend, which might help. Sooner or later I'm going to have to suck it up and go to a dentist. I have a HUGE fear of going to the dentist so I am one to put it off until it is absolutely necessary (bad, I know) - I just need to put my big girl panties on and go.
On another note I am super excited that they just came out with an app for my phone to post blogs! I haven't tried it out yet but I know it will come in handy if I am ever on the go and not near a computer. It also gave me the stats of views I have had on my blog over the past year and I am amazed! (14,659!)
I just thought I'd let you guys in on why I haven't been posting. I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
Well I am back to kicking butt this April! I have figured it's great to be 100 pounds down but it would be even better if I could lose a little more before my 1 year mark and be able to say I exceeded my own expectations. Kick-Butt April will turn into Kick-Butt May and so on. I am ready to get cracking and finish this thing out for GOOD! 68 MORE POUNDS TO GO but I am just going to focus on the now and work 1 pound at a time.
Yesterday I worked out like I said I was going to and today I still have yet to work out but I plan on it! I can't wait until this weather warms up! We STILL have been getting snow! Next week I hear it is supposed to be in the 60's so they better not be lying because I cannot wait to start going for walks again!!! I miss swimming, I miss the smell of fresh cut grass, I miss it all!
I'm starting to get used to my recumbent bike/elliptical and have been in need of something different. I haven't done a basement routine in a long time. I have held off on the weights but now that I'm 100 pounds down I think I can get back on that because I could really use the extra muscle. I just didn't want to gain in muscle and have it mess up what I had going for me last week.
I had my lemon water first thing this morning and then made myself a cup of green tea and I ended up missing breakfast and had a brunch because I ended up waking up late. I am now on my 4th cup of green tea and am not sure what I will have for dinner. We went grocery shopping yesterday so I got a few things but not much. I find it easier to stay on track if I limit myself on what I buy. This Thursday I plan to cheat. My friend and I have started to get together ever Thursday for lunch. She comes over here and I make the food. I usually make something that can stick to your ribs. The last time we got together is when I had made those chicken enchiladas. This week I will be making a sirloin tip roast with gravy, mashed potatoes, carrots and corn. We didn't get together last Thursday because I canceled due to me not wanting to cheat that week.
This one is from the heart.
You never really know how you're going to feel once you reach one of your major life goals. I don't know if I was expecting some magical power but I had to force myself back down to reality. Last night I broke down. I knew it was coming; it was just a matter of when. When I started this, in my mind, in order for me to keep moving forward, I told myself I will probably be happy if I lose just 100 pounds. I knew when I got to 100 pounds down I would weigh 238 but for some reason I thought for me it would be different. Like 238 would be "my skinny" or something. I didn't expect to still be overweight and I have yet another journey to go through. I knew deep down I would still be in my battle at this point. It just didn't hit me until last night. I was lying in bed thinking, very quiet and then Michael asked me what was wrong. We are going to go grocery shopping today and I told him that I didn't want to go; I didn't want to be seen. In tears I told him I was afraid of what people might think if they see me and have heard that I have lost 100 pounds and then see that I still look chunky. To me when you hear that someone has lost 100 pounds you think they must be pretty slim but in my case I still have more to go. It may sound stupid but I have had a feeling of embarrassment. After that he then said these magical words that put me back down on earth: "I thought you were doing this for you, remember?" - Yes, I am doing this for ME.
I have also realized that my blog is a big part in what keeps me going and it is what I need to help me succeed in my weight loss. You guys may be happy to hear I will still be posting as usual. No one week check-ins, no monthly check-ins but every day like I have been with the occasional Saturday off.
This past Saturday was the day I finally got to my goal of being 100 pounds down. I didn't cheat as bad as I was expecting myself to cheat. First off I skipped my lemon water, I didn't work out and didn't drink any green tea. I haven't had much of an appetite and I have realized I get full a lot faster since I had put myself on a mostly green diet. I woke up and my Mom brought me over a breakfast from Beef-A-Roo (a fast food chain we have in town). I had scrambled eggs, 1 sausage patty, potato rounds, an English muffin and 2 slices of thin bacon. Ever since I was little my Dad and I would always split a Beef-A-Roo breakfast and since I have been grown I still used to get them on a regular basis but this past Saturday was the first time I had one in over a year! Around lunch time I finally ate that candy bar that Michael had bought me a while ago and then I missed out on having lunch. I had plans to have a few friends over that night and had made some frosted sugar cookies the night before. When they came over I had cookies, chips and Roma pizza. I also had 2 cans of that new Bud Light Straw-ber-ita drink that they have out now. Later on Michael went to McDonalds and I had some French fries and chicken nuggets. Since I have got to my goal I started to get into the mind set that now I can eat whatever, whenever, wherever. Since I started my journey I had it in my head that once I got to 100 down I could finally break free from my routine and go back to the way things were. I could tell Michael and my Mom seemed a little worried. They don't want me to go backwards and she was happy to hear last night that I am going to get back on track today. After all it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE not a fad diet. It's going to be a battle to shake these last 68 pounds I have to lose and it STILL will be a battle to maintain my weight. I have realized it is an endless cycle but you just have to force yourself to make the right decisions to better yourself. I have heard it all from people who say they aren't "water drinkers" to the ones who say they don't eat breakfast because they aren't morning people. Oh I have been there. Do you think I am a water drinker? No. Do you think I love having breakfast right away in the morning? No. Do you think I LOVE green tea? No. Do you think I love to exercise? No. Do you think I love to squeeze a half of a lemon into warm water every morning, before I can even open my eyes? NO! I do these things because I know these are the things that benefit me the most. You have to change in order to succeed.
Now to talk about Sunday; I skipped my lemon water again and didn't drink any green tea. I woke up and ate 2 sugar cookies for breakfast and had some cold pizza for lunch that I had left over from Saturday. Michael and I were planning to order pizza for dinner to celebrate and pig out. We had planned to do this for a month before I got to my goal. I called to order them and they were closed! We ended up getting KFC and that was my 100 pound down celebratory dinner. Part of me was disappointed. I had plans to either order pizza or go out to eat at a restaurant. I never imagined my 100 pound down celebratory dinner would have been KFC! We each got one of those new 2 piece boneless chicken dinners. They weren't that great. Later on I had a Snickers candy bar with some chips that were also left over from Saturday. I also didn't work out.
So in saying all of this; today is a new day. I woke up and had my lemon water and made myself some oatmeal for breakfast. I had 1 cup of coffee and am on my 2nd cup of green tea right now. I am not sure what I will have for lunch. I also plan to work out. Michael and I plan to go grocery shopping when he gets home from work around 4 PM so I am not sure what I will have for dinner either. Since losing 100 pounds I am not going to be so hard on myself but I will still have restrictions. I am going to go back to weighing in only on Fridays and I have re-started my marble jars. I have exactly 68 more pounds to lose until I will be entirely happy with myself. I can do it. If I can lose 100, I can lose 68! I am over that hump I feel I needed to get over. I imagine it as a roller coaster; I crept my way up to the top and now I'm on my way down.
I am very proud to say that I have made it! I have lost 100 pounds! I have come a long way; physically, mentally & emotionally. I have changed so much as a person (in a good way) and have grown so much over this past year. I am more positive and look forward to each and every tomorrow. I start my days with a smile and am so grateful for what has taken place over the past year. WHAT a ride it has been but it was well worth it. All the ups and downs have brought me to this beautiful point I am at in life and I could not be happier.
I am still going to be working on losing weight to get to my goal of being 170 pounds for my wedding day but I have just accomplished what I had once only dreamed of doing. I said in the beginning that I was going to quit blogging once I have reached this point but now that I'm here I'm not that sure. I know I won't be posting daily blogs anymore but instead maybe weekly or monthly check-ins. I will write one whenever I feel I need to until I finish out the rest of my journey.
I'd like to give a BIG thank you to the following:
(As I am imagining myself on a stage holding up trophy ha-ha)
1. My Mom, Michael & everyone that has followed/supported me along the way.
2. My sneakers (which should be dipped in gold and displayed in my china cabinet lol)
3. My blog! DUH!
4. Green Tea
5. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
6. My 75oz water jug
8. Apple Cider Vinegar tablets
10. My hybrid Elliptical/Recumbent bike
11. My ghetto treadmill
12. Online motivational posters
Without any of these things I still would be 338 pounds. I truly feel like a winner. I can't believe I am finally here. I have dreamed of this day for most of my life. I have lost 100 pounds!!!! All on my own. I NEVER thought I would EVER be able to say that. Words can't even express how I am feeling right now.
I started my journey on May 1st, 2012 and have lost my 100 pounds (well, it's not mine anymore!) in a little under a year. 10 days shy of a year to be exact. The day I began I thought I would never get here. In the beginning I wanted to give up so many times because the finish line seemed so, SO, so far away. I never gave up, I never quit.
I feel for the people that have similar journeys and just hope that one day they will stumble on this blog and get inspired to keep going because IT IS POSSIBLE. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. You just have to set your mind to it. I AM LIVING PROOF!!!!!! I never thought in a MILLION years I would be the type to do something like this. I'm no marathoner, just an average Joe that had big dreams. I am still in shock and have been letting it sink in that I did it... I did what I wanted to do and now I am going to excel from here on out! Today is like my Birthday. Actually today is BETTER than my Birthday. I feel re-born and like I can take on anything!
I knew I could do it by today. I sucked it up and busted my butt working out many, many times this week, eating better and I drank 10 cups of green tea yesterday LOL! I wanted this BAD!
Today is all about celebration for me. I am putting the scale away and am just going to relax and enjoy my victory!
I am not going to post anymore this weekend and I plan to write a new entry sometime next week :-D
Well....... I weighed in this morning and for this week I have lost a total of 4 pounds! I wish it was more but I have been doing everything right and have not had any slip ups this week. I now weigh 240 and am 98 pounds down. I only have 2 more to go until I will get to my goal of being 100 pounds down! I still hope to be there by tomorrow. I am going to exercise my butt off today, eat right and cross my fingers. We will see! Anything is possible!!
I had my lemon water first thing and then made myself oatmeal for breakfast. I am on my 3rd cup of green tea and have most of my water jug to go. I am not sure what I will have for lunch or if I will have lunch and I will have a salad for dinner. I still have yet to do my first work out for today but I plan to get 3 in today. I want to do my first workout after I post this, one in the afternoon and then work out once more before bed. I want to be 100 pounds down by tomorrow so bad. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up like I am but it's hard not to when I'm so freaking close! I ran into a friend I went to school with in the store yesterday and she said she almost didn't recognize me!
Favorite quotes from February 2013:
"I can't wait to 100 pounds down. I don't like to set deadlines but I am hoping to lose these last 15 pounds in the next couple of months. I can do it! I know I can. May 1st will mark one year since I have started my journey and it would be great to say I lost 100 pounds in a year. I had high hopes in the beginning by hoping I would have already been down 100 pounds this past November but I fell a little behind. That's ok, I'm kicking butt now and I WILL be 100 pounds down by May 1st if it kills me! Figuratively speaking..."
"You have all been so great with supporting me. You all have kept me
"I keep thinking of all the things I want to do this summer that I never thought I could do last summer. The fair this year is going to be so great. I never went on any rides because I didn't want to get embarrassed If I had to get off of a ride because I couldn't buckle myself or fit comfortably. NOT this year! This Summer is going to be full of new activities and things I never considered doing. I just hope I have enough Summer time to do all the things I want to do lol. Michael better get ready! I feel this whole Winter I have been stuck inside and my rubber band keeps twisting and twisting and then when Summer hits...BOOM! I'M OFF!"
"It's crazy how your body changes when you lose a lot of weight. I never would have thought I would have lost so much weight on my hands. Michael wasn't sure what size ring to get me so he guessed and got me a size 8. When I put it on, it fit so perfect! It was like it was made for me. It's not tight and it's not loose. It amazes me because my ring finger used to be a size 10!!!! What a great motivator this wedding is going to be for me and my weight loss!"
"It's funny how when you stop eating fast food, you realize just how much they shove it's advertising down your throat on a daily basis. I can't go anywhere, public or online, without a hamburger getting forced in my face. I have been proud of myself for staying away." -Entry #261, February.23.2013
"I've never smiled so much in my life. I am going to keep moving forward and am not looking back. I always knew I wanted to lose weight but I never imagined it would feel this good."
Favorite quotes from March 2013:
"I have been so happy. Not just because I have lost 91 pounds but by also being positive! Positive thinking in EVERY aspect of your life is the way to go. No matter what it is, I have been flipping every negative thought into a positive one. Sometimes it's hard but you just have to force yourself to do it and move on. Instead of complaining (about anything OR anyone) I force myself to think positively and in doing so there leaves no room for any negative. It can only benefit you AND the people around you. If you can do that, happiness will come. It's so easy to get sucked down the road of self pity and jealousy. It's an ugly road and I have been down it before (who hasn't) and I can honestly say I don't miss it! Once you accept yourself and your life you will begin to see things much, MUCH clearer. One thing I had wrong in the begging was that I thought if I lost weight it would change everything. Like a miracle cure. I mean it has in a way but losing weight doesn't erase all of your problems. The way it has helped me is by letting me see things clearer. It has taken off the blindfold I have been wearing for so long and has helped me see things in a different light. I have been through a lot of self-reflection over these past 10 months and it sure has been a journey but I wouldn't change one bit of it. I feel I am a better person today and I can't wait to see what my future holds!"
"I have been slacking and spiraling downwards into my old ways. Today is my turning point and I am going to be going full speed ahead until I reach my goal of losing 100 pounds. I am very close and I will not let myself sabotage it." -Entry #277, March.18.2013
"This is all new to me. I have never been this size before and I have never had so many clothing options to choose from! It is an amazing feeling when everything fits that you try on. I am going to and have been having fun experimenting with new styles/looks! The possibilities are endless for me now. Before when I would get new clothes they had to be bought around what would cover up my fat rolls/belly the best. Now I can shop for clothes that flow with the curves of my body. My new forming wardrobe makes me feel sexy, beautiful & confident. I feel losing this weight has helped me feel more like a woman. It has helped me grow into who I need to be and is still helping me grow to become the best woman I can be. I feel I was lost before but now I am found!"
"WELP, I weighed in this morning for the first time in a while. I knew deep down that I had gained a few pounds back since my last weigh in. I can't even remember when that was. Maybe 3 weeks ago? 2 weeks? Any who, I have gained 3 pounds back. I'm glad it's just 3 and not more. I'm not going to let it get me down! If I could lose my Holiday weight gain of 15 pounds in 11 days, I can get to 100 pounds down in no time. I just have to STICK TO IT!!!!!!!!"
"The month of April is going to be all about kicking butt!! No cheat days, nothing! In exactly 1 month it will mark 1 year since I have started my journey. I am feeling the fire on my hiney and am getting myself ready to give it my all because I want to be 100 pounds down or more by May 1st! I can do it; I don't have that far to go. I am ready to finish this out. No more putzing around."
I had my lemon water first thing and then made myself a breakfast sandwich but cut out the turkey bacon this time. I missed lunch and will have a salad for dinner. I am halfway through my water jug and am on my 4th cup of green tea. I have been a busy bee today running errands. I still have yet to work out but I will. I bought some booze just in case to celebrate this weekend if I am 100 pounds down! I have been pushing myself hard to get there and I hope, I hope, I hope to be there by Saturday! If not, that is ok. I won't be hard on myself because I know what I have been doing and how hard I have been working to get there and that when the time is right I will get there. It would just be convenient for me if it was on Saturday LOL :-)
Favorite quotes from January 2013:
“I need to re-do what I have already done. I have come to terms with this and am going to try to do exactly what I did in the beginning of my journey. Baby steps… It’s like trying to walk up to pet a wild animal; if you move to fast you will spook it! I don’t want that to happen to me because I know if I don’t go at my own pace the stress of trying to get back on track too fast will sabotage me.”
“Living day to day; not dwelling on the future or the past.”
“It may seem like forever now but there will be a day when I will look back and it will only feel as if I had blinked.”
“I am excited for my future. I have been thinking a lot lately about how I will feel once I get to my goal weight. I still am bigger and I hate it but I have been forcing myself to only think positive thoughts. I don't know why I always concentrate on the negative but the more I exercise and eat right the more I will be happy with myself and that is the most important thing in life. If you don't love yourself you will have a hard time getting anywhere you want to go.”
“It is amazing on how much your diet/lifestyle can affect your mood/behavior. I saw myself going back to having no confidence and being insecure as ever. I know I have to build back up what I just tore down. I get mad at myself but then I just have to remember I am human and the only thing that matters now is that I am currently headed in the right direction and that I AM EXCITED ABOUT IT.” –Entry #213, January.04.2013
“I have no idea where I have lost myself with all of this but I need to remember who I was when I started. Instead of finding myself like I had originally wanted I ended up going further and further away from just that. I don’t know how or why I blocked some things out but once I started losing weight I just got rid of the old me completely. I forgot about the annoying heat rash I had to put up with on my face for over a month and the nasty blisters I got on my feet. I completely blanked out every hard step it took me to get started. I wrote off everything. It wasn’t easy and I still struggle to this day! I thought I would be further than I am now but somewhere along the line I got off course. For a while it seemed for everything that would go right another thing would go wrong. But after wondering why… I realized for the millionth time it is all about your mindset. You can talk the talk but you have to be able to walk the walk. They say to never look back but in this case I feel it was needed!” –Entry #217, January.08.2013
”When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into a cup of warm water first thing in the morning!” –Entry #219, January.10.2013
“I am so glad I didn't cave in last night and munch. I tend to do that to myself before my weigh in days. It's like I subconsciously try to sabotage myself. I don't know why! Sometimes I feel like Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself & Irene" ...trying to kill that part of me that just says do it, just eat it, what could it hurt, common you know you want it!” –Entry #220, January.11.2013
“There are so many things I can do now that I had trouble with before. Shaving my legs is a big one - OMG! How much easier it is! And like I have said before it has also been nice to not have to worry about seatbelts, restaurant booths and even clothes shopping. Things are just getting easier and easier and it can only get better from here! The other night I was watching TV with Michael and I was sitting on the couch hugging my knees. I didn't even think about it when I did it but after sitting there for a while the thought ran across my mind that I could have never done that before when I was 338 pounds.” –Entry #224, January.15.2013
“I woke up this morning feeling smaller. I love mornings like that. Sometimes when I lie in bed at night I like to think I can feel the fat just melting away lol. My body is starting to take shape and I can't wait to see what I am actually supposed to look like! Ha-ha - Really... I have never known myself to be any smaller than am I right now. I figure I was about the size I am now in middle school so any weight-loss I have in the future will all be completely new to me. I feel like this whole time I have been hiding behind all that fat. I knew I was in there somewhere!” –Entry #224, January.15.2013
“I also think of my cheat days as a break not only for my body but my mind as well. Dieting can be mentally exhausting when you are still working towards making it your lifestyle. There will be a point where it will not be such a big deal to have a cheat day but as of right now I am not quite there yet and looking forward to cheat days are a BIG part of what keeps me going.”
“Here is where my frustration lies.... Working so hard this week with not cheating, exercising every day to a sweat and I only lost 1 pound this week. I am happy that I am back to officially being 80 pounds down but I would be lying if I didn't say I was a bit bummed after the great weigh in I had last week. I guess I will have to take into consideration that I must have either gained weight in muscle or am bloated from you know what...but still...it almost gives you that feeling of why bother. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is worth it to work out even if I do not see the results I was hoping for. Today is tomorrow and exercising can only benefit your future. I may not be happy now but if I gained muscle, I should have a good weigh in next Friday if I keep up the good work. They say for every pound of muscle you gain your body burns an extra 50 calories per day; on its own!” –Entry #227, January.18.2013
“I feel so close but yet so far away.” –Entry #234, January.25.2013
“I have found that trying to be someone you are not is exhausting! With this journey I have recently gone through a "lost" phase. I didn't know how to act, how to be or who I was. I went through a period where I was second guessing myself and was trying to do whatever I could do to feel like I "fit in". How I was feeling words can't really describe but what matters now is that I see things clearly and am going to just be me. I was so focused on what others thought of me that it had interfered with my life, the people in it and my weight loss journey. I now realize that I need to let go of that people pleasing attitude and that if no one were to like me; that's their problem, not mine.” –Entry #235, January.27.2013
I weighed myself this morning and have lost a little bit more weight! I am closer than I was yesterday. I am so excited! I will update you all with a total for the week on Friday. Soon, very, very soon I am going to reach my goal! I don't want to jinx anything but I hope to be there this weekend! I was telling Michael yesterday that the day I get to my goal of being 100 pounds down it will mean more to me than any other day I have had so far in my life (besides the day he proposed). To me it will be a huge life accomplishment and I plan to celebrate! There has been talk about having a celebratory summer BBQ/party for anyone that would like to come help me celebrate this huge milestone in my life. It probably won't be until the weather is nice - So as soon as the grass is green and the sun is shining those wheels will be put into motion :-)
I had my lemon water first thing and then made myself a 2 egg omelet, a wheat English muffin and 2 slices of turkey bacon for breakfast. It's the same as what I would eat in my breakfast sandwiches but I cut out the cheese and added another egg. The meal was only 20 more calories than what is in my breakfast sandwiches; 311 calories all together. Also this was my first time making a successful omelet! lol - I was very happy with how it came out. I think I got it down now. I plan to make a baked sweet potato for lunch and will have a salad for dinner. I am on my 4th cup of green tea and still have yet to start on my water jug. I have been kicking butt and have been keeping up with my workouts. I still have yet to exercise today but I will! Nothing can stop me now! I like these results I have been seeing this week and I know it's because I have been stepping it up and have had my game face on!
Favorite quotes from December 2012:
"My theory is: In order for things to go right; you must come clean."
"If you treat your body right it will love you back!"
"Today I am having one of those days where I can't believe how far I have come. Even with my set-backs I can't help but just sit here and smile. I never thought I would follow through with this process. I can't believe I even topped the -50 mark."
"I think part of me feels like I have failed because of my recent weight gain and therefore I just went down hill from there (mentally) but I need to remember who I am and why I started this journey. I need to finish what I started. I WILL NOT GIVE UP! It may take some time but I will get to where I want to be. I cannot say I didn't expect a few hiccups along the way and I can say there will probably be more. The bottom line is I KNOW I can get through them and try to be the best I can be. The ONLY one standing in my way is ME." -Entry #202, December.13.2012
"I was approached by a woman in the store today and she asked me if I was Marilyn. It made me feel great because I have met her before! I still feel like me but I forget I might look different to the people that haven't seen me since I have started my journey."
So I have started to weigh myself everyday now until I get to my goal of 100 pounds down. I will update you all with a weekly total every Friday for the pounds I have lost during the week. That's if I can wait that long! BUT the day I get to my goal I will be shouting from the roof tops so I won't keep you guys waiting if that day doesn't fall on a Friday. Let's just say I have been chipping away at the amount I have to lose and I am getting there! I am closer than I was yesterday.
I woke up and had my lemon water first thing and then made myself a breakfast sandwich. I have yet to eat lunch and I'm not sure if I will. I am not hungry! I will make myself a salad later on for dinner. I still have most of my water jug to go and I am on my 3rd cup of green tea. Michael came home yesterday and brought me my favorite candy bar when I specifically told him I was cutting out all the crap and not cheating anymore until I get to my goal. I know he was just being thoughtful but sometimes it can be frustrating! I know for him it isn't easy because one day I give him grief when he comes home with treats for himself and doesn't get me anything then the next day I'm saying to not get me anything lol poor guy. I know to him it may just be an innocent candy bar and that having one won't kill me but that's not the point. That could be the little pebble that gets stuck in my gears and messes everything up. I still have yet to eat it and I told him to hide it so I don't know where it is and then to give it to me when I get to my goal. If I know where it is, I know it will just tempt me to the point where I talk myself in to it being harmless and I will eat it and then I will eat this and then eat that and so on. At this point in my journey I have been struggling very hard to get to 100 pounds down. It seems like these last pounds I have to lose are the hardest because I want to lose them the most. BUT I am getting there! I am, I am!!!!!!!
Favorite quotes from November 2012:
"When I went to check my mail earlier I realized someone had smashed our mailbox! It’s our first encounter with vandalism. I don’t understand or see the fun in doing something like this but I am still fuming. My treadmill is going to get it!!!!! LOL – If only I had a punching bag." -Entry #165, November.01.2012
"Yesterday I have officially entered month 7 of my journey. I am not as far as I wanted to be at this point but the good thing is I have no time limit. As long as I don’t give up I will take as long as I need to." -Entry #166, November.02.2012
"Right now; I need to quit feeling sorry for myself (even though I’m not quite sure what I’m feeling sorry for ha-ha), get up off the couch, put my big girl panties on and grab what’s left of today by the…. well you know lol." -Entry #166, November.02.2012
"It is so easy for it to spiral out of control. I am glad I got the reigns back. I was extremely close to giving up."
"Yesterday I took my last Centrum 21 multivitamin. I need to get more! I remember the day I got that bottle; I thought to myself that by the time I would finish off the bottle of 100 I would be somewhere great with my weight loss journey; and I am. I need to remember those little things. I need to remind myself every time I get discouraged about my weight now to not be; for there was a time when I only DREAMED to be where I am at right now." -Entry #169, November.05.2012
"Wowee! I only have 20 more to go until I will have lost a whopping 100. I can’t even imagine how accomplished I will feel when I can say that I have lost 100 pounds." -Entry #178, November.14.2012
"I feel good. I feel boney. My collar bones are very noticeable now and I love it! I have also been getting into stretching or some people would think I was doing yoga if they saw me. I can pretty much fold myself in half lol & I am pretty close to being able to put my leg over my head; it’s crazy! It has been really helping out with my balance. I forgot how flexible I used to be when I was younger I used to be BIG into gymnastics and ballet. I think yoga is something I could really get into now. It is something I have been considering!"
"I am starting to get into another awkward stage in my weight loss. 97% of my clothes are dumb. I can't keep up! But I suppose that's a good thing ;-)" -Entry #179, November.15.2012
"Everything I have done and the habits I have changed help me on a daily basis to get to where I want to be. Exercising is just a bonus but I need to regularly do it for myself."
"I’m sitting here drinking my coffee getting myself all hyped up again about dieting/exercise. I have put off weighing myself for about a week now and I weighed in this morning. I am not happy but I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. I could have gone another week without weighing myself because what I don’t know won’t hurt me right? Right... I had my fun and it is time to get back to business. Oh yeah; I have gained 4 pounds."
"I can say I need to get back into the swing of things a million times but none of it will ever benefit me if I never do it. It’s amazing how it can all go down the crapper so fast when you just give up for a week. I am not as flexible since I haven’t been stretching and I can feel my body stiffing up again. I am ashamed I have let myself/journey go for this short period of time but I have no excuses. All what I can do now is try to get back on track."
"I think I lost my excitement or my thrill for this process. I need to get that back otherwise I will never succeed or reach my ultimate goal. Part of me thinks I am scared. I am starting to really get into a stage in my weight-loss where I am not comfortable with myself. I am so used to being overweight that the thought of becoming smaller is terrifying. I know weird right? I never thought I’d have this feeling after losing almost 80 pounds. No one wants to be fat but
"I can’t even tell you guys how much better I am feeling. Exercising really does solve a lot of problems. For me it clears my head and makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel healthier and motivates me to do better." -Entry #190, November.29.2012
I had my lemon water first thing and then made myself a breakfast sandwich. I stayed true to my word yesterday and did another workout before I went to bed! I am feeling great. The only thing that has had me down is that I have had a stupid heat rash on my face again. I have had it for a while now, like a month! It isn't very noticeable but I can feel it and my Mom noticed it today when she was sitting next to me. Oh well! Crap happens! I hope it goes away soon. I hope it's just a heat rash! What else could it be?
I still have my whole water jug to down but I will finish it before the day is over. I am on my 3rd cup of green tea and missed lunch. I will be having a salad for dinner. I did some running around earlier and got more lettuce to tide me over until we do our major grocery shopping at the end of this week. I need to get more lemons and green tea. I have a couple boxes of green tea but it tastes like dirt! I can tolerate it but it's not good lol Sometimes those off brands can be a hit or a miss.
It has been sinking in that these may be some of the last blogs I will write. I plan to keep posting after I get to my 100 pound goal but I don't plan for it to be as frequent. I am still deciding if I want to do a blog once a week or once a month. I don't know! It has been such a huge part of my life over this past year that I don't think I will be able to stop. I would miss it. This blog might turn into a lifestyle blog once I get to my ultimate goal weight of 170. I can't just shut the door and walk away. PLUS I know you all will miss stopping over for a visit ;-) Who knows, I may stick with it or it might fizzle out when I have nothing new to say. Time will tell!
I still have yet to work out today but I will. I would like to get 2 workouts in like I did yesterday but we will see. If not I will try and make myself do an hour. I was going to go for a walk with a friend but once I got outside it was so windy out that I said screw it. My hair was blowing all over the place and it was ticking me off, ha-ha. I have been crabby - I don't know if it's from going on a better diet than I have been on but man I am moody! I was ready to run everyone over today when I went to town. I had some serious road rage going on ha-ha... I know it can't be (you know what) because that's all over and done with; unless there is such a thing as post PMS, ha.
Favorite quotes from October 2012:
"I have been feeling pretty good. I am really happy with my mobility. I never thought I had a problem but now seeing how easy it is to do the simplest tasks like hooking my bra or being able to scratch that itch on my back that I never could have reached before is awesome! I am still getting adjusted to this new body that is forming. I don’t recognize my face. I have never felt this way before and I kind of have an empty nest feeling if that makes any sense. I’m not saying that I miss being 338 pounds but I am still having a bit of trouble dealing with some insecurities."
"Crazy on how these features are coming out that I never knew I had!" -Entry #151, October.16.2012
"As I have been losing weight; a little piece of my will power to stay away from bad foods goes with it. The thought that runs across my mind every time I cheat now is "I can't gain 73 pounds back by just eating one fast food meal." - Deep down I know it's not ok. To many this might not even be a problem but in my case the reason I got as big as I did was by my fast food addiction."
"I Marilyn Ziebell solemnly swear to shop healthy tomorrow. I vow to keep my will power strong and keep on; keeping on."
"APPLE CIDER VINEGAR - Helps curb appetite, gentle detoxification agent, absorbs and blocks fat formation, boosts the immune system, supplies amino acids, minerals and vitamins, aids in metabolism to help burn and metabolize food efficiently. Apple Cider has acetic acid, plus ion-futynic lactic and propionic acid. This not only boosts the immune system, but also has antiseptic and antibiotic action. It is the richest source of amino acids known. Has been shown over the years of use to help arthritis, diabetes, lower cholesterol, increase circulation, tone up skin, help heart problems, chronic headaches, anxiety, and a host of others."
"I am hoping after I work out tonight in the basement that it will be the igniter for my consistency in my work outs. I have to push myself and my limits. I know it will lift up my spirits because that fire that was inside me before has been flickering and I need to pour some gasoline (sweat) on it and make it burn!!!!!!!!!"
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.