I have been feeling good these past few days. I went through a lull here with blogging.
This Monday I am starting a new approach with my weight-loss. I am going to start off with small goals of losing 10 pounds at a time. I seem to get overwhelmed and crumble under the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I want it all today, now, this second! It is going to take time and I need to remember that it isn't going to all happen overnight.
The fair is in town and I am proud of myself that I did not eat any fair food! I usually can't resist a good old corn dog but I made sure not to go there on an empty stomach.
Well Michael and I went to that game a couple weeks ago and had a blast! I have never been in the same space with so many other people, it was crazy. Neither of us has ever been to a game before so it was new experience for both of us. I know I got a good workout going up and down the stadiums stairs! I am pretty sure they were made for pure torture. It was pretty cool being at the game in person. It was almost surreal to see all the players! I shared a couple of pictures below:
I got my first negative comment the other day on my weight loss video. As much as I can say it didn't bug me, it did. It was a very odd, pick-me-up/bring-me-down type of comment lol - After a few days I only feel sorry for them and their small mind. I am only motivated to argue against but I refuse to waste my time!
<-- How am I supposed to lose any weight when my Mom keeps buying me this kind of silverware?! LOL
I have been OK - I have not been weighing myself so I cannot tell you if I have lost any more weight but I have been trying to stay strong with healthier eating habits and just simply trying to live a better life.
I feel as if I am at a crossroads right now. Part of me wants one thing and then the other part of me wants another. I have dreams for a career but also have dreams of building a family. I know things will go as they are destined to be but sometimes there are decisions that you need to make that will guide you more in one way than another. It's as if I am waiting for the answer to just drop down from the sky and land right into my lap but in the real world sometimes you have to go and get it. Failure is the fear I am feeling right now & failure should not even be part of my thought process. I know firsthand if you want something bad enough, and work hard to get it; it will come to you at the right time. That is what I somehow lost along the way - my faith in my abilities. I am the first person to tell you to be positive but I have found myself to have such a negative mindset these days. Negativity is a vicious cycle and it will only bring you down. Starting off with the mental state of "This will never happen for me" or "I'm not good enough" will get you NO WHERE. I know how hard it can be sometimes to stay positive but I hear the view from the top is amazing and only you can get yourself there. Anything is possible with the right frame of mind and I need to remind myself of this!
I ran across this quote the other day. Don't be a dream killer!
"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will."
I can feel summer coming to an end. I hate it! I am not ready for another winter. I want to move somewhere where I don't have to deal with snow. It seems summer goes so fast but winter lingers on. It's like an unwanted visitor that doesn't know their time is up! I still haven't gone to the lake yet! All this time I wasted being a hermit is coming back to me. I feel I need to cram all of my summer dreams into the tail end of it!
On a more positive note I am looking forward to getting out of town for a couple days with Michael in a week or so. For his Birthday this past May I got him tickets to go see a NFL preseason game of his FAVORITE team. This will be a first for him. I swear he is their biggest fan and for him not to have ever seen them play in person is crazy so I made it happen!
I have been doing a lot of soul searching these past couple of weeks. There are desires I have that I feel I have no way of knowing how to reach them or begin to attain. Have you ever wanted something so bad but did not know how to go about even materializing it? Something you feel you are destined for but you just don't know quite yet what it is? That's where I am at right now. But in the process of that, I am trying to focus on getting back to being the motivated, self-assured person that I was. My first step before chasing any of my dreams is to get back in shape. I started off great but have been at a standstill have not lost any more weight. It is discouraging but I know I can be doing more to change my situation. As anyone knows who has had a bad habit and has tried to quit, it is not easy. When I lost the bulk of my weight before something just clicked for me. Now I think my clickers broken! I feel as if I am left up the creek without a paddle. It is a mental game and I am constantly at war with myself. One of these days I will get it right. But until then, I will blog!
Michael and I have been doing a lot of bumming lately. It takes everything for us to head back home and not to keep on cruising! We are going to try and do something every weekend. We need to get out and about more otherwise we will get swept up with the same old routine. I know cooler 80 year olds than us!
I have been going for walks. Not so much for the exercise but for the fresh air and to clear my head! The exercise part of it is just a plus lol - I have also got my camera fixed for the time being so I have been going outside and playing around. I have been going snap happy!
I am going to do a basement workout. It has been a long time since I have been on my elliptical or treadmill. I already have the tunes cranked! Sorry it has been a couple of weeks since I have posted. I have been feeling overwhelmed lately!
This was one of the hardest things I have ever done and every now and then I watch this to remind myself it is and was possible. Lately I have been needing all the motivation I can get!
My name is Marilyn and I am 27 years old. I have been overweight for most of my life and on May 1st, 2012 I weighed in at 338 pounds. This blog is about my weight-loss journey.